Baby Making Positions
by Sos7
Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don’t become friends when they are paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They defiantly don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boy can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal.

* * *

Jeff sighed as he looked at his class program. How the hell the school fucked this up was beyond him. He had all senior classes, with his older brother Matt. Jeff was a freshman. Jeff walked down the hall, looking for his older brother, Matt somehow always fixed everything. Jeff pushed his way through the kids in the cafeteria looking for a head of curly brown hair. Jeff shoved his way through again and tapped his brother on the shoulder. His brother shrugged him off, opting to pay more attention to the skank of the week, rather than his own baby brother.

Jeff glared at the back of the bitch's head, Kelly needed to get a life and get away from his brother. Jeff grabbed hold of a lock of his older brother's hair and yanked hard. Really hard. Matt yelped in surprise and pain before turning to look at him, promised death in his eyes. Realizing it was just his brother Matt relaxed "What do you want Jeff, shouldn't be in class by now?"

Jeff sighed "I should but they messed up all of my classes! I have every class with you!"

Matt's eyes widened in surprise "Holy shit, lemme see your time card."

Jeff held out his time card to Matt, hoping he could fix this. He watched as Kelly or 'Kelly-Kelly' ran around the cafeteria looking like a slut. Her skirt was way too short and he swore she was wearing a bra and no shirt! The nerve of this girl. Matt scratched his head in confusion "Sorry, there's really not much I can do at this point. The do this kind of shit all summer, which is why they send it to your house. Didn't I tell you to look at your time card to see if anything was wrong? You never listen and this is why…."

Jeff rolled his eyes as Matt went on and on about doing what he said. He was worse then his own father honestly.

"-And another thing! Didn't I tell you to take that dye outta your hair last week? Pull down your shirt and nobody needs to see you belly button! Is that an earring?! Boy-"

Matt was cut off when the bell rang. Jeff nearly cried in relief, if Matt found out about either his belly or tongue ring, he was afraid he would give Matt a heart attack. Matt grabbed the back of Jeff's shirt and began to drag him towards the main stair case. Kelly latched on to Matt arm like some kind of blond leech and began chatting in his ear and rubbing against him like a cat in heat. Jeff had an idea right then. He addressed Kelly "Hey Kelly-"

The bitch interrupted him rudely "Its Kelly-_kelly!"_

Jeff nodded and smiled tightly "Yes, yes Kelly-Kelly"

Kelly scoffed.

"Hey Kelly-Kelly guess what?"

She turned to him genuinely interested "What?"

"Wall."

Kelly looked confused before she walked smack-dab into the wall. She flew back, her legs in the air, crying moaning about how she would need another nose job. Jeff laughed and laughed all the way to his and Matt's first class.

~!!~

Jeff sat down at a desk in the back corner of the room. Everyone is this class looked so _grown-up._ They all looked like they were ready to go out be adults and start their lives or something. It freaked Jeff out, like monumentally. Everyone is this class knew what the hell was going on and knew where to sit and who to talk to and shit. Jeff sat back and watched his brother kiss a different girl, Eve. She was nice looking, pretty, but Jeff didn't understand why she was with his brother. His brother was a whore. Jeff wondered how many different girls he would see his brother orally rape before the day was over. Matt was sitting next Adam Copeland, another blond who always gave him a noogie when he came over to Matt's house. Matt was surrounded by legions of people that Jeff didn't know and it occurred to him that Matt was really popular.

Jeff watched as he teacher walked in, a man named Mr. Lawler. The man looked like he had just woken up from a night of partying, hookers and booze. Lots and lots of booze. Mr. Lawler sat down heavily before going through his desks blindly and pulling out a folder. He stood, swaying on his feet "Alright, attendance time…"

Jeff tuned out the mans drunken mumbling, opting to take out his sketch book and draw what he thought Mr. Lawler did last night. He raised his hand automatically when he heard 'Hardy'. Jeff looked up at the health teacher who looked really confused "Two Hardys… I must be more hung over then I thought…"

Matt spoke up "No, there are two Hardys. My little brother Jeff, got his schedule messed up and has all senior classes, he's a freshman."

Mr. Lawler nodded "Alright then, where is he?"

Jeff raised his hand shyly "Right here."

He watched as Mr. Lawler blinked slowly "Huh. Thought you were a girl…"

Jeff turned red as the entire class laughed.

Mr. Lawler spoke out loud "All right, the only people not here are Calloway, Orton and Bastista, same shit as last year."

Jeff let out a silent gasp of shock when he heard the teacher curse. In middle school, cursing was bad! Jeff looked around and saw everyone treating this like a normal occurrence.

"All right. Today we are going to talk about sex. Don't fuck without a condom. Done."

Mr. Lawler pulled out a big box of condoms and began throwing them at everyone. Jeff's eyes were wide as hell. Jeff jumped when Mr. Lawler addressed him "You, tiny Hardy, do you need some?" He held out some condoms.

Jeff shook his head frantically and put his head on the desk.

Mr. Lawler shrugged and threw a couple around the room. He zeroed in on the older Hardy "Hmm, from all the rumors I've been hearing, you might need a whole pack boy!"

He threw the rest of them at Matt before sticking the box back under the desk. Mr. Lawler sat on his desk before speaking "Alright how many of you boys are hermaphrodites?"

Jeff looked around as no guy raised their hand. Jeff didn't want to be the only one that raised his hand, he was already a baby to them, he didn't want to seem any weaker.

"Jeff's a hermaphrodite."

Jeff snapped his head towards Adam so fast, he nearly got whiplash. He hissed angrily at the older boy "Adam, what the _hell_-"

Mr. Lawler smiled at him "Tiny Hardy! Bring yourself up here; you can help with this class!"

Jeff groaned and walked to the front of the class, "accidently" pulling Adam out of his chair on the way. Jeff stood next the board uncomfortably wondering what he was supposed to do. Jeff screamed as Mr. Lawler raised his shirt up to show off his tummy.

"Now, hermaphrodites are pretty much the same as girls on a reproductive standpoint. You stick it in and in 7-8 months a person comes out."

A person raised their hand "I thought it was 9 months?"

Mr. Lawler picked up a pencil and poked at Jeff's tummy "Now, you see, because hermaphrodites are primarily born boys, they don't have the strength nor structure to hold a full grown child for 9 months. They usually have a c-section and the baby would be kept at the hospital for at least a month."

Jeff pouted and put his shirt down. He felt violated. He saw the surprise in Matt's eyes when he noticed the bright green barbell going straight through his navel. Jeff sighed and looked at Mr. Lawler "Can I go sit now?"

"Of course not! Stay here, we might need your insight on some of these questions. Be quiet, here…" Mr. Lawler dug through his pockets and took out a grape sucker "Stay here and be quiet."

Jeff squealed quietly and took his candy, popping it into his mouth immediately. Jeff was told to sit back down a few minutes later.

"All right. Having sex is fun, this I know very, very well. But sometimes things happen and you end up with a child. You may think that children are easy to take care of, so to slap that stupid thought out of your head, you are going to become parents."

The class erupted into mummers of confusion. Mr. Lawler opened up a cabinet and inside was tiny baby dolls. He pulled a boy and set it on the table "This is your child. You will be paired with a partner and will take care of this child for the rest of the semester-"

The entire groaned, nobody wanted to take care of a stupid doll for half the school year.

"-As I was saying, you can either choose a boy or a girl and the partners I pick for you cannot be changed. Don't ask me to, or I will lower you grade. Now, this dolls cost this school thousands of dollars because of how high tech they are. They sense everything, if you abuse them, they cry and began to bruise, if you don't feed them they cry and begin to shrink. If you take care of this child it will grow and be happy for the rest of the school year. Now, when you get your baby you also get a parenting pamphlet, diapers clothes, a foldable crib, clothes and baby food. At the end of every month I will check your baby and if its not in moderate health I will fail you and you will not graduate. Is that clear?"

The class nodded sullenly. Jeff could see why this class was only given to seniors; they only had about 3 periods a day and could devote plenty of time to a fake baby. Jeff looked at his older brother. Matt looked really bummed out about this, Jeff knew why. Matt didn't really spend much time at home nowadays; he couldn't be tied down with a baby. Even, if it was a fake baby.

"Alright first victims…: Bourne and Kim. Come collect your child."

Jeff watched as a stocky brunette boy and an Asian girl came up to Mr. Lawler. Jeff snickered when Mr. Lawler said 'Congratulations, it's a boy'

"I also forgot to mention that you will need to fill out adoption papers for you baby things like name, birthday etcetera… Alright, next couple: James, Hardy, come get your shit."

Jeff was about to stand up when Mr. Lawler said "Not you, the other one."

Jeff watched as Matt stood up and took a look at Mickie. She was a nice girl, Jeff thought she had really pretty hair. She was nice looking and didn't wear much make-up making her look natural. However, she wasn't Matt's type. Jeff feared the Matt would fail this if he were to be left alone with their child. Jeff watched Eve as she glared at Mickie in outrage. She actually thought she was Matt's girlfriend. How could she possibly not notice Matt had been sleeping with everyone?

"Next Cena, Outlette, come on down."

Jeff pouted; he had the biggest crush on the older boy. John had to work with Matt on a project last year, making Jeff realize that he was gay. He had heard the John was bi, but now, he wasn't going to have any chance. Maryse was every guy's wet dream including John. He watched as John practically skipped all the way to Mr. Lawler.

Jeff watched as everyone was paired up some unlucky girls were already single mothers because their partners hadn't bothered to show up to class. Jeff raised his hand as the last pair sat down "Um, Mr. Lawler, I don't have a partner…"

Mr. Lawler frowned and looked over at his clipboard again "Right, skipped over your name, cause your brother's was already there. Alright tiny Hardy and Calloway"

"Why the hell are you calling my name?"

* * *

Yeah, cliffhanger. Yes Matt is a whore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boy can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

* * *

Jeff jumped when a deep voice rumbled behind him. He turned to look; the older boy was at least a good foot taller then him and had a still smoking cigarette in his mouth. He was large, muscled and was wearing black all over. He looked scary. Jeff hadn't realized he had been staring until the man growled at him. Jeff squeaked and ran behind Mr. Lawler. He didn't want to die so soon, Mr. Lawler had lived a full life; he wouldn't mind dying would he?

Jeff heard Mr. Lawler chuckle before he pushed him in front "Hardy, this is you partner for this project, Mark."

Jeff turned to Mr. Lawler quickly "W-wait, shouldn't I be excused from this project? I'm a freshman, I shouldn't even be here!"

Mr. Lawler patted his head "Now, now tiny Hardy, you wouldn't want to be the one who makes Mark fail his senior year, right?"

"N-no, but Mr. Lawler-"

Jeff was cut off when a large hand dropped onto his head heavily and pushed him out of Mr. Lawler's vision. Jeff flailed a bit and ended up landing on Matt, who had come up to Mr. Lawler to try to get Jeff out of this.

Mark crossed his arms and growled out "What the hell are you talking about old man?"

Mr. Lawler smiled easily at Mark, not at all fearing for his life as he should be, and patted Mark's shoulder "Mark, you and Hardy are going to be working on a project for the rest of the semester. You get to take care of a fake baby together okay? Now, which do you, boy or girl?"

Mark raised and eyebrow "Are you serious? What the hell is this supposed to teach us?"

"That fucking without a condom is bad, speaking of condoms-" Mr. Lawler dug around in his desk for a while before taking out a handful of condoms "Here."

Mark gave him a look.

Matt, having had enough of being ignored, addressed Mr. Lawler "Mr. Lawler, I really don't think Jeff should have to do this project and absolutely not with _him._"

Mark glared at Matt before smirking "And why not Hardy? Afraid I'll break your little brother?"

Matt glared back "Fuck you! He is not working on this project!"

Mr. Lawler put his hand on Matt's shoulder "Now, Matt, if Jeff did back out of this project, Mark wouldn't be able to graduate-"

"Oh please!" Matt interrupted, "As if he wasn't failing before! This class won't make a difference!"

"Actually, Matt, Mark needs this one class to graduate. He was actually about to be chosen for valedictorian, but was a few credits behind."

Jeff piped up from behind Matt "Really? What class did he fail?"

"Gym."

Jeff raised an eyebrow before letting out a giggle "Gym? How can you fail gym? All you have to do is show up!"

Mark shrugged "I have gym first. I usually just slept through it."

Matt spoke up again "It doesn't matter, I don't trust Mark with my brother!"

Jeff put a hand on his brother's arm, trying to calm him down "Matt, its not a big deal, its just a project. I would feel horrible if I made him not graduate, wouldn't you?"

"No."

Jeff punched Matt in the arm "Don't be an ass!"

Matt rubbed his arm and sighed "Fine, fine, he can be your partner but the baby stay at our house, and he comes over, not the other way around."

Jeff nodded "Okay."

Matt and Jeff looked to Mark "Fine." Mark to the cigarette from his mouth and put it in Jeff's hand before leaving the room. Jeff stared at the cigarette wearily before bringing it to his mouth. Before it could touch his lips, Matt slapped it out of his hands. "Why is it you always put things in your mouth!"

Jeff shrugged and rubbed his hands before turning to Mr. Lawler who had been watching the entire proceedings, amused.

"All right Jeff, which do you want, boy or girl?"

Jeff thought about for a minute "I'll guess I'll take a girl."

"Alright." Mr. Lawler handed Jeff the doll before giving him some papers "So, here are the adoption papers. In the bag I'm about to give has everything you need."

Mr. Lawler handed Jeff a large bag with pink bears all over it before addressing the class "Okay, my new parents. I want you to take your baby and turn it over." The class was a buzz with movement before it all turned quiet again. "You see the little paper sticking out of its back? Pull it."

The class hesitantly did what he said. After a few moments the class erupted with squeals and cries. Mr. Lawler laughed at the dismayed look that came across his students faces "Congratulations, you're parents."

The bell rang shortly after, making some babies cry "Okay, now I want you to bring in the adoption papers tomorrow alright? Also, you have the rest of the day off to get your baby situated."

The class nodded before making their way out of the classroom. Jeff followed after his brother, holding his new baby gently. Matt was talking to Eve, hoping to calm her down so he would still be able to fuck her on the week end. Mickie was walking in step with them looking at the couple with a smile on her face. She was carrying the baby and the baby bag. Jeff ran up next to her and began talking "Hey." He greeted.

Mickie smiled at him before taking "Hi. I'm Mickie, you must be Jeff."

Jeff nodded "Yeah and you're Mickie. What did you get?" Jeff motioned to the doll in her arms.

"Oh, Matt chose a boy. No offence Jeff but, your brother's a whore."

Jeff snickered "None taken. He is a whore, its not a big deal anymore. What are planning on naming your baby?"

Mickie shrugged "I dunno. At the moment I'll just go with David or Michael, something common."

Jeff frowned "Aw, c'mon. Don't you want to name the baby something original? You know what? Why don't you just come over to my house and we can watch the babies together?"

Mickie smiled and patted his head "Sure, I'll ride with you and your brother."

Mickie and Jeff walked outside quietly chatting for a while before meeting Matt at his car. At the moment Matt was standing at the side of his car, and arm around a new girl, Jeff briefly recalled her name; Brie or something, while glaring at another person. As Jeff walked closer to the car he saw that Matt was glaring at Mark, who was grinning down at him, sinisterly. Matt growled at Mark before noticing Jeff and Mickie.

"Finally, took you guys long enough. Lets go home already."

"Hey Matt, is it okay is Mickie goes home with us?" Jeff asked.

Matt nodded distractedly; too busy staring at Brie's tits. Jeff was about to get into Matt car when he was pulled away from the car door by a hand on his shirt. Jeff looked behind and saw that Mark was dragging him over to his own car. Matt growled at him before snatching Jeff back "What the hell do you think you're doing, Calloway?!"

Mark smirked before grabbing Jeff back "If our child is going to be kept at your house, I have to know where the mother of my child lives don't I? I'll just follow behind you."

Matt bristled at the way Mark held Jeff so possessively "Hell no! He isn't going anywhere with you!"

Jeff sighed and rolled his eyes. Matt was really too protective, it was getting annoying "Matt, stop being so mean! You were the one who said the baby has to be kept at our house, he has to know where it is!"

Matt pouted before turning back to his car "Whatever." He put his arm around Brie and opened his car door for her. Mickie got in the back seat quickly. Mark put his hands on Jeff's shoulders and steered him towards his car. Mark called over his shoulder to Matt "I'll be sure to tell Eve how nice you are."

Jeff giggled when he heard Brie shriek "Who the hell is Eve?!"

Jeff let himself be steered to Mark's car. Mark really wasn't a bad guy, he just looked a little scary, that was all. Jeff got into Mark's car and waited beside him patiently. The car was silent on the ride home until Jeff spoke up "So… what do you want to name the baby?"

Mark glanced at him before returning his eyes to the road "What is it?"

"Huh?"

Mark let out a sigh; by God this kid must be retarded "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Oh! It's a girl!"

Mark rolled his eyes "Why would you choose a girl?"

Jeff shrugged "I dunno, I don't have a sister, so having a girl might be fun."

Mark rolled his eyes "Whatever, name her Grace or Hope or somethin'."

Jeff frowned at that "I don't want to name her something so generic! I was thinking Catilyn."

"Kattelyn? How do spell that?"

"C-a-t-i-l-y-n. Catilyn."

Mark chuckled "You seriously can't spell."

Jeff pouted at him "Be quiet, it's a good way to spell Catilyn!"

Mark snorted "Calm down, squirt. I don't blame you for you lack of knowledge, you're only a freshman."

Jeff rolled his eyes; everyone said freshman like it was a bad thing "Whatever, when should her birthday be?"

Mark shrugged "You pick, I really don't care." There was more silence in the car before Mark spoke again "How the hell are you in my health class anyway? You look 13."

Jeff glared at him "I'm 14! The school messed up my program so I have all senior classes. They'll probably correct it after the semester's over, when this project is finished and then you can graduate."

Mark nodded and set his eyes back on the road. The doll made some more noises before the car in front of him stopped. Jeff turned to Mark "Bye Mark, I'll see you tomorrow!"

Mark nodded and watched Jeff hop out of the car. When Jeff met up with his brother, he tool out a cigarette and lit it, it would be the last one for the day.

~!!~

Jeff and Mickie sat on the living room couch reading the parenting pamphlet. Mickie let out a sound of disgust before reading something out loud "Oh gross, Jeff listen to this: During pregnancy female babies are exposed to many hormones in the womb. For the first month or so there will be some bloody discharge, it being their first and last period for next decade or so. Oh, that is so weird!"

Jeff shuddered and nodded "So, are we gonna set up these portable bassinets or are just going to keep the kids on the couch?"

Mickie nodded "Yeah okay." Mickie and Jeff slid onto the floor and took out the collapsed cribs. They were wrapped in plastic and had instructions taped to the outside. Jeff and Mickie read the instructions before ripping the bags open and beginning the construction.

"So…" Mickie started "Do you just live alone with Matt?"

Jeff shook his head, still shaking out everything in the bag "We live with my dad, but he's at work. He won't be home for a few. What about you?"

Mickie threw the plastic bag away "Its just me, my dad and my older brother."

Jeff ran a hand through his hair "Cool, cool."

**I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT SHIT TOGETHER. SKIP CONSTRUCTION PLEASE.**

Jeff stared at the completed cribs (1). They were huge! He wondered why that tiny doll needed so much space. Mickie's crib was bright blue and had seals all over it, while Jeff's was bright pink and had butterflies all over it. Jeff turned to Mickie "Let's wheel them into my room okay?"

Mickie nodded and followed Jeff "Sure, you're room is on the same floor?"

Jeff nodded and opened his room door. Mickie immediately zeroed in on a poster right above Jeff's window "Is that a Jonas Brother's poster?"

"Of course! Do you like them?"

"I love them!!" Mickie squealed. Jeff hugged Mickie tightly before setting the two bassinets near his bed.

"Let get the babies and put them in here already." Jeff nodded and left the room, returning with the babies a few minutes later. He placed Catilyn in her bassinet and put the other in his. Jeff turned to Mickie "Hey, have you thought of a name for your boy yet?"

Mickie poked at the baby in the bassinet and nodded "Yeah, I think I'll name him Hyak."

Jeff nodded, liking the way the name sounded "Good, that's a nice name. You wanna fill out this adoption papers now?"

"Good idea, I forgot we had to, thanks for reminding me." Jeff and Mickie took out the adoption papers nearly ripping them in half when the heard twin shrill cries. Jeff and Mickie walked over to the bassinets seeing that the dolls had their eyes scrunched up as if they were really crying. Mickie looked towards Jeff "Maybe they're hungry?"

Jeff quickly ran over to the baby bags and pulled out two bottles, he stared at his wearily; he called out to Mickie "Hey, Mickie?"

Mickie walked out to him, the wailing doll in her arms "What is it Jeff?"

"How did the pamphlets describe the milk again?"

Mickie raised an eyebrow at him "Just white, like regular milk."

Jeff stared at the bottle of purple, effervescent liquid "Huh."

"Would you hurry up please!" he heard Mickie call. Jeff walked back into the room and handed Mickie the normal bottle of milk watching as she put it to the dolls lips making it quiet down. Jeff picked up the doll and did the same watching the purple liquid as it grew less and less.

* * *

Why was that so long?

1- Catilyn's bed- http: // www .netkidswear. com /2newbassinet. html ( Take out the spaces.)

Hayk's bed- http :// www. netkidswear. com/ bbassinet. html (Take out the spaces.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boy can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

* * *

Jeff raised an eyebrow as the sound of fake suckling stopped after a few seconds, that was incredibly strange because the bottle was already half empty. The doll was quiet then, not even making the sounds of artificial breathing. Jeff put Catilyn back in her bassinet and frowned "I think I broke her…"

Jeff looked over to Mickie who was jiggling Hyak around as he kept crying "Mickie, I think I broke my doll!"

Mickie peered down into the bassinet; she shrugged "Its probably still sleeping, no big deal. Its getting pretty late in the afternoon, I'm gonna go home." Jeff nodded and helped Mickie's bassinet fold into a car seat "Do you want Matt to drive you home?"

Mickie shook her head "Nah, I think you brother's a bit too busy making a real baby with Brie." Mickie snickered when she saw Jeff scrunch up his face childishly "Eww, Mickie! That's so gross! Why would you even think of that?!"

Mickie waved at him over her shoulder "Bye Jeff!"

"Bye!"

Jeff locked the door after her and went back into his room. He sat down on his bed and began filling out the adoption papers again. Jeff hesitated as he put the pen to the paper. He didn't know if it was just him, but the adoption papers looked a tad bit more _authentic_. Jeff shook that thought off, chalking it up to the bad lighting in his bedroom. Jeff picked up his pen again and began filling out the paper :

_Full name: __Catilyn Haylee-_

Jeff wondered whose last name should go on the adoption papers. When he really thought about it he _was _the supposed mother in this process so therefore his name shouldn't be on the paper. Mark's should.

_Full name: __Catilyn Haylee Calloway._

Jeff blinked quickly before rubbing his eyes. He swore he just saw the words on the paper glitter gold! Jeff looked at the paper again seeing nothing abnormal with the ink on the paper. Jeff turned to the bassinet near his window when he heard a faint rustle. Jeff walked over to the bassinet and peered down at the doll. Jeff furrowed his brow in confusion and ran his fingers over the doll's scalp. Jeff quickly pulled his fingers away, when he felt the slightly feathery material on the dolls head. The last time he checked everything on the doll was plastic! Jeff rubbed his eyes and sat back down on his bed, picking up the documents once again:

_Date of Birth:_

Jeff drew a blank on this piece of information; he really didn't know what day this baby birthday should be on. Well, it was September, so he might as well put the date somewhere before it…Oh! He liked summer, so Catilyn birthday would be the first day of summer of last year. That would make Catilyn about 3 months old.

_Date of Birth: __06.22_

Jeff dropped his pen in surprise, he was sure that the words on this paper glittered! Jeff's head turned towards the bassinets as it creaked. Jeff waited a few moments to see if the baby would cry and turned back to the paper when it stayed quiet.

_Father's Name: __Mark Calloway_

Jeff shivered as a breeze blew through his room; he looked over at his window which was halfway open. Jeff got open and closed the window, not glancing down at the, missing the way its eyes began to twitch at his movements. Jeff sat back down and looked at the next line. Mother's name. Jeff thought about it; should he put Jeffery Hardy or Jeffery Calloway? He _did _like the way Jeffery Calloway sounded, he was sure Mark wouldn't mind if he borrowed his last name, the baby wasn't even real. Jeff quickly put the name Jeffery Calloway on the line, trying to dismiss the blush dusting his cheeks. Jeff looked at his lamp as it began to flicker. Jeff raised an eyebrow at this and tapped it; the light was stable after that.

Jeff picked up the remote to his Ipod stereo and turned it on; he smiled as the sounds of Marilyn Manson filled his room. Jeff filled out the rest of the form, the sounds of the rock music drowning out the sounds of the baby bag shaking and moving about. It glowed bright green from its perch behind Jeff, letting out a low groan. The doll in the in the baby bassinet began to move its limbs on its own, the plastic covering its skin slowly beginning to crack. The bassinet began to groan and creak, quivering as if set against a great wind.

Jeff's room door suddenly slammed open and Jeff let out a girlish squeak. Jeff scrambled to turn off the stereo, pouting up at his father "Dad! Are you trying to kill me? You just can't be barging in here like the house's on fire!"

The Legend scoffed at his son "Oh please, if you hadn't had that devil music turned up so loud, you would've heard me coming. What did I tell you about that music? Its poisoning you brain! Didn't I tell you to take that dye outta your hair last night? Don't you ever listen? Boy-"

Jeff rolled his eyes and swallowed down a groan of outright annoyance, he could _not _sit through another lecture so he cut his dad off "You wanna see my baby?"

Gilbert's eyes shot to his hairline "Baby?! What baby?! Boy-"

"Its okay dad, its just some stupid project I had to do in health class. I get to work with a partner and take care of a fake baby for the rest of the semester."

Gilbert nodded before looking around his son's room "Well, where is it?"

Jeff pointed behind him without looking, too busy filling out the last of the adoption forms "Over there, in the pink crib. Try not to make too much noise, you might wake it up."

Gilbert scoffed and walked over to the bassinet "Too much noise? Please that racket you call music is too much noise…" He peered over the edge of the baby and made an appreciative noise "Its real life like, I'll give you that."

Gilbert grabbed Jeff by the scruff of his neck and drug out of bed "Come on boy, make the fact that you can shit out kids worthwhile and make some dinner."

"Dad!"

~!!~

Jeff sat down at the dinner table glaring at Matt from behind his glass. Matt apparently felt that playing tonsil hockey at the dinner table was completely and totally appropriate. Jeff struggled to remember her name "Uh...Nikki, right?"

The brunette girl nodded, pulling her face away from Matt's letting a long strip of saliva connect their lips. Jeff cringed at that and forced a smile on his face "Would help me with something near the front door?"

Nikki blinked before nodding and following Jeff to the front door. Sometimes Jeff was glad that Matt picked complete retards to sleep with; the only thing that worried him was the threat of the children that could result of said unions. The thought alone made him shudder. Jeff opened the door widely and stepped back "Do you see that?"

Nikki stepped forward and looked "See what?"

Jeff pointed in some random direction "That!"

Jeff watched as the dumb girl leaned nearly all the way out of the door, barely hanging on. Jeff picked up his leg and planted it firmly into Nikki's ass, pushing her out on to the porch. Jeff closed and locked the door. Jeff sat back down at the dinner table where Matt was eating as if nothing was wrong.

Gilbert cleared his throat and addressed Jeff "I hear your program is messed up."

Jeff nodded "Yeah, I have all senior classes with Matt."

Gilbert cut up a piece of chicken and put it to his mouth "So Matt has to do that baby project thing too?"

Matt looked up blankly at the sound of his name "Wuh?"

Jeff rolled his eyes "Nothing, Matt. Yeah, Matt's partnered up with a girl named Mickie and she's so awesome, she named her baby Hyak!"

Gilbert frowned at that word "What kind of hippy-dippy name is that? Shoulda named him somethin' like Brent or Richard."

Jeff shot his dad a look "Dad, there are like, 30 different people with those two names within the county. What good would that have been?"

Gilbert dismissed the question with a wave "It don't matter. Clear the table boy and bring me a beer." Gilbert wiped his mouth with a napkin and walked to the living room. Jeff rolled his eyes as Matt soon followed. He cleared the table and brought both his father and Matt a beer. Jeff walked back into the kitchen and washed the dishes like he did every night before bidding his dad and brother goodnight. Jeff bypassed his room completely and went to complete his nighttime rituals. He brushed his teeth, washed his face and changed into his sleeping clothes which consisted of a white tank top and bright green boy shorts.

Jeff yawned as soon as he entered his room and clicked his lights off. He crawled into bed, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

~!!~

Jeff groaned sleepily and turned over in his bed, trying to block out the sound of a soft coo. When the sound became louder and more consistent Jeff sat up, angry at the fact that the stupid doll woke him up. Jeff walked over to the bassinet and peered over the edge, his eyes widening immediately.

Inside the bassinet was an actual baby! Jeff ran to the door and flicked his light switch on before running back to the bassinet. It wasn't a mistake, Catilyn was real! Jeff poked Catilyn's cheek, watching as she smiled and grabbed his finger in her tiny fist. Jeff looked at the tiny baby girl in awe. She had a pretty little tuft of bright red hair that surrounded her cute heart shaped face and lovely little green eyes. When Jeff saw her face scrunch up, he swooped down and picked her up.

Catilyn squirmed in Jeff's arms for a moment before settling down and turning herself against Jeff's shirt. She blinked owlishly at him, her mouth resting on Jeff's nipple. As all children do when they are hungry, she began to suckle. Jeff looked down in surprise and the baby who was trying to coax milk out of his breast.

~!~

**READ:** I put breast because in my story the hermaphrodites, develop breasts, small ones, but they do grow. At this point, with Jeff being 14, he is still at the stage of wearing a training bra and does have breasts.

~!~

Jeff smiled softly and put Catilyn's head against his shoulder, he rubbed her back tenderly "I guess you're hungry, huh? I'll just put you back in your crib and warm up some milk for you"

Jeff gently put Catilyn back in her bassinet and let her curl up with her blanket. Jeff watched for a few moments more before going through the baby bag near the bottom of the bassinet. Jeff was surprised to find baby formula, baby bottles, diapers and everything he would need to take care of Catilyn.

Jeff took an empty bottle and the formula and went into the kitchen. Jeff read the instructions and put ½ a cup of water in a pot to boil. While the water was boiling Jeff was thinking. He wondered what the hell was going on first and foremost. It was Catilyn in his room, breathing and blinking! He hoped this was part of the project or he would be in deep shit. If Mark found out… Jeff let the fear wash over him. How was he supposed to tell Mark? Jeff took the hot water off the flames and poured it into the bottle. He put some powdered formula in and shook it before sitting it in a bowl of cold water to cool it down. Jeff walked around in the kitchen agitatedly for a few moments before taking the warm bottle back to his room.

Jeff walked over to the bassinet and picked up Catilyn who squirmed unhappily from being jostled. Jeff tested the milk on his wrist before putting the rubber nipple in the baby's mouth. Jeff sat down on his bed and watched Catilyn suck on the bottle slowly. She stared up at him the entire time her tiny fist clutching at his wrist. She stopped drinking when the bottle was empty and stared at him some more. Jeff remembered reading in the pamphlet that babies needed to be burped. Jeff put Catilyn's head on his shoulder and rubbed her back gently. Catilyn let out a small burp before beginning to gnaw on his shoulder.

Jeff put Catilyn on his bed "Why are you so hungry Catilyn? Why are you so hungry?" Jeff tickled Catilyn's tummy and watched her squirm about pleasantly. Jeff jumped when a knock sounded at the door "Wake up boy, its time for school!"

Jeff quickly put Catilyn in her bassinet and closed the curtains. He opened his room door and called out to his father "I'm not going to school today!"

Gilbert rose an eyebrow at him "What for?"

"Cramps! I have really bad cramps today!" Gilbert grimaced at the information and waved him away "Do you want me to bring you chocolate or something?"

"Skittles!" Jeff said before running back inside his room. Jeff dug through the baby bag again, pulling out a bright green foam block. He put it next to Catilyn before closing the curtains again and running to his brother's bedroom. He opened the door and wasn't really surprised at the naked body next to his brother. He was confused on how this chick got in here. He hauled the still asleep chick up and awake and threw her out of Matt's bedroom. Jeff jumped on Matt waking him up "Matt! I need you to do me a favor."

Matt rolled out of bed, naked as the day he was born, and began to dress himself "Sure, whatever."

"You know Mark's number right?"

Matt turned and frowned at him "If I did know his number, why would you need it?"

Jeff rolled his eyes at his brother and let out a huff "I need to give him the adoption papers cuz I'm not going to school and I need to tell him something about the baby! Now Gimme your phone!"

Matt tossed his phone to Jeff who caught and was out the door in seconds. Jeff rand back to his room and stood over Catilyn, who was gnawing on the foam block. Jeff scrolled down his brother's contacts and found Mark's number. He pressed the call button and waited. While the phone rang Jeff waved the block in Catilyn's face watching her trying to catch it.

"Why the hell are you calling my phone so early in the morning Hardy?"

Jeff jumped at the sound of Mark's voice "Because we have a huge problem!"

"Jeff? What did you do?"

Jeff bit at his bottom lip "I don't know what I did, but something is wrong with the baby?"

Mark groaned into the phone "You didn't break it already did you?"

"No! Will you just come over and see for yourself?"

"Fine, fine whatever."

Jeff stared at the phone in confusion when heard the dial tone "How rude! Doesn't anyone say goodbye anymore?"

Jeff picked up Catilyn again and began to walk around his room, trying to put her to sleep. Someone knocked on his door "Hey, gimme my phone you brat!"

Jeff put Catilyn back in her bassinet and opened his door. Matt already had a girl on his arm; Jeff wondered if this girls just fell out of the sky and into his brother's lap sometimes. Jeff put his brother's cell phone in his hand and was about to turn away when his brother spoke "Why are you staying home anyway?"

"Cramps." Matt nodded before leading the girl on his arm away. Jeff sat down on his bed before laying on his back and spreading himself out. He was a mother! He was only 14, he couldn't be a mother! What would his dad say? What would Matt say? And most importantly how the hell was he supposed to explain this to Mark? Jeff sat up when there was another knock on the door. "Who is it?"

"You drag my ass out of bed and asking me who it is." A voice deadpanned. Jeff jumped out of bed, opened the door and yanked Mark in "Mark, we have a huge problem!"

"I hope you didn't break-"

Jeff shook his head "I didn't break it!" Jeff grabbed Mark's hand and pulled him over to the bassinet "Look…"

Mark looked over the bassinet in shock and aw. He poked the baby in her cheek and watched as she grabbed his hand. Mark ran a hand down his face and mumbled "Not again…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boy can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

* * *

Jeff raised an eyebrow as he heard a mumbled sentence spill from Mark mouth. He picked up Catilyn and turned to Mark "What did you just say?"

Mark shrugged the question away and began to walk around the room agitatedly "What the hell did you do?" he bit out, frustrated. Jeff frowned at the tone of his voice before replying "I fed her some weird milk-"

"Weird milk? What are you talking about?"

Jeff repositioned Catilyn so he could rub her back "Well, there was this weird, shiny purple milk that I fed her when she was a doll, and I thought that something was wrong, but it had come in the packet so I thought it must be special cuz it was a girl because Mickie had a boy and his milk was white-"

Mark cringed as Jeff began rambling, this kid was going to kill him before he had a chance to actually live "Wait, wait, wait. Purple milk? Why would you feed it that?"

Jeff glared at him "Well, she would have kept crying if I didn't feed her something!"

Catilyn took this time to make it known that she had had enough of the mess in her diapers and began to cry. Jeff sighed and handed the crying baby to Mark while he fished around in the baby bag for a diaper, wipes, and powder.

Whilst Jeff was searching for cleaning supplies and such, Mark stood awkwardly holding a sniffling Catilyn. He had never done this before despite his circumstances; Glenn had always taken care of it, him being the adult and all. Mark stared down at his new 'daughter' in wonder. He felt a slight tug on his heart when the child began to pat his beard and his face. He snorted when a few of her fingers got in his nose and smiled when she laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world.

Jeff laid a towel on his bed before asking for Catilyn back "Give her here Mark."

Jeff watched as Mark reluctantly handed over Catilyn before putting her on the towel on his bed. Jeff flipped a section of his hair over his shoulder and began changing Catilyn. He unclipped her pink onesie before un-clipping her diaper. Jeff giggled as he watched Mark, who had been watching him over her shoulder, as he recoiled in disgust and scurried over to his open window. Jeff turned back to Catilyn and wiped off her butt before turning to Mark "Mark can you help me out for a second?"

"No."

Jeff shook his head; Mark was acting like such a child "I just need you to bring my waste basket over here, that's it." Jeff giggled again as he watched Mark kick the basket over to before returning to his post at the window. Jeff deposited the soiled wipes and diaper in the waste basket and powdered Catilyn butt. He finally put a diaper on her before sniffing his 'daughter'. She smelled alright for only being alive for a day and not bathing.

"Are you done?"

Jeff turned to look as Mark stood a good foot away from the two of them "Yes, stop being such a baby, its just a diaper."

Mark snorted before walking closer "Yeah, a diaper full of baby shit, no thanks." Mark took this moment to take a good look at Jeff. The slender boy was scantily clad in bright green shorts, which had risen up as he was bending down to change Catilyn. His tank top was skin tight, showing off the outlines of… a bra? Mark snickered before walking up behind Jeff.

"You know, I just realized something."

Jeff, who was busy paying attention to Catilyn, replied "What?"

Mark quickly snatched the back of Jeff bra before letting snap back against his skin "You're wearing a bra!"

Jeff let out a screech as the elastic in the bra stung against his skin. Jeff turned and glared at Mark "That is not funny! That hurts! And what are you in the 6th grade! You're so stupid!"

Mark continued to snicker at his grade school prank for a few moments more before stopping "Alright, fine, but on a more serious note I noticed something really important."

Jeff put his hands on his hips angrily "What is it?"

Mark put his hands on Jeff's breasts and squeezed them gently "You have really small tits."

Jeff blushed ruby red and glared at Mark before drawing back his hand and slapping him across the face "Ugh! You pervert, don't ever touch me like that, ever again!"

Despite the throbbing pain in his cheek Mark could still laugh loudly at what he had done "Sorry, sorry, I just- I just couldn't pass that shit up. I apologize, I'm sorry. Heh."

Jeff crossed his arms for a moment before deeming that protection not enough and picking up Catilyn, so she would be pressed closely to him "What are we going to do?"

Mark rubbed his jaw gingerly before thinking "I really don't know, I'm still trying to comprehend the fact that a doll turning into a human baby. What else did you do last night?"

"I filled out the adoption papers, but I really think my eyes might have been seeing things."

Mark tongued the cut on the inside of his cheek and nodded "Give them here."

Jeff maneuvered himself to open up his book bag one handed and handed the folder, containing the adoption papers to Mark. Mark smirked at him and said "You know, for a girly bitch, you got quite a swing on you."

Jeff glared at him "Unless you want this _girly bitch _to rip off your nut sac and feed them to the raccoons, you'd better shut the hell up."

Mark put his hands up as a sigh on surrender "Whoa, testy. You on your period or somethin'?"

Jeff growled at him.

Mark quickly turned away from him and opened the folder. He gasped at what he saw "Where did you get this?"

Jeff looked up from where he'd been playing with Catilyn on the bed "What do you mean 'where'? They gave a copy to every couple in health class."

Mark shook his head in disbelief. He had seen authentic adoption documents, given to him by the state, twice in his life. This was apparently the third time "Jeff, this isn't fake."

Jeff put Catilyn down in her bassinet and walked over to Mark, leaning over him to look at the documents. Jeff's eyes widened as he saw what was in Mark's hands "Those aren't the papers Mark! Last night, they were different, I swear!"

Mark sighed and read over the adoption papers, his lips quirking as he read 'Jeffrey Calloway'.

Jeff tapped Mark's arm "Mark, what are we going to do about this? Catilyn can't stay here?"

Mark raised an eyebrow "Why not?"

Jeff let out an annoyed breath of air "Why not? Because sooner or later Matt or daddy is going to realize I have a baby in my room and kill someone, most likely, you!"

"Me?! Why me? I didn't do anything!" Mark shouted in surprise.

Jeff shrugged and began to pace his room "Well, Matt thinks you're going to rape me anyway and when my dad hears about it he'll shoot you in the head, or the balls, whatever."

Mark shuddered at the mere thought. Jeff gasped abruptly "Mark, can't we keep Catilyn at your house?"

Mark blanched at the idea "Why? What do you think Glenn will do when he finds out I brought home a baby!" _Again._

Jeff tilted his head in confusion "Glenn? Who's Glenn?"

"He's my older brother, I live with him."

"What about your parents?"

Mark's eyes grew cold and he said quietly "They died a long time ago."

Sensing that Mark didn't want to talk about the subject of parents any longer Jeff changed the topic "But I'm sure Glenn will be expecting it, though!"

Mark's eyes widened in shock "What? Why?"

"Well, daddy said he wouldn't be surprised if Matt fathered hundred of illegitimate children and they somehow ended up here. You and Matt are the same age, so you must be into the same types of things right?"

Mark gave Jeff a blank look, not knowing if he was completely serious. At the sight of Jeff's completely serious Mark _knew _he believed anything his father told him. Mark sighed and placed his hands on Jeff's shoulders "Jeff, I know you're still a child-"

"I am not a child!" Jeff whined.

Mark rolled his eyes and continued "I know you're still a child at this point but you're 14. Not everything your father says is the complete truth, you have to learn on your own, what to do and what not to do."

Jeff's eyes widened before dimming in fright "B-but, Mark, I've never done anything on my own. Matt and daddy always took care of everything and made it better. I just seem to make things worse…"

Mark patted Jeff's head "See this is why you need to learn Jeff, so you make things better on your own."

Jeff swatted Mark's hand away, a smile returning to his face "Whatever. Mark please! Glenn's your brother, I'm sure he'll be okay with it, she's just a baby, she won't cause that much trouble." Jeff latched onto Mark's arm and stared up at him, pouting exaggeratingly.

Mark cringed and pushed him away "Oh, lord, fine! Just never look at me like that again."

Jeff jumped up and down happily "Done. Now let me change and then we can drive to your house."

Mark sat down on Jeff's bed and crossed his arms. Jeff stared at him, confused "I said, I was going to change…"

Mark nodded "I know. Feel free."

Jeff glared at him, red dusting across his face "Get the hell out, you pervert, or I swear to God, I tell Matt what you did to me!"

Mark hopped off the bed and quickly walked to the mumbling something about 'hormonal bitches' and 'fucking psychotic rednecks'. Jeff snickered and began to change.

* * *

Shorter then usual, but I felt this was a nice place to end it, don't you agree?


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boy can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

* * *

Jeff walked out with Catilyn in his arms to find Mark on his couch watching TV and drinking a beer. Jeff sat down next to Mark and took the beer from his hand "Uh… don't you think it's a bit early in the day to be drinking beer?"

Mark shrugged and grabbed the beer back from Jeff's hand "I'd rather be completely shit faced when Glenn beats my ass to death."

Jeff patted Mark's arm in an effort to comfort him "Oh please, you're exaggerating, it probably won't be that bad!"

Mark rolled his eyes "Riiiight." _I distinctly remember Glenn telling me what he was going to do me if this happened again. I'm underselling this shit._

Jeff picked up the remote and turned off the TV "Let's go already, I wanna meet Glenn!"

Mark shot him a look "Do you want to die?"

Jeff shook his head "Uh…no."

"Then you don't want to meet Glenn."

Jeff rolled his eyes at Mark "Now you're just being silly, Mark! Go inside my bedroom and get the crib and the baby bag."

Mark walked into Jeff's bedroom and rolled the pink bassinet out into the living room "How the hell is this think going to fit into my car?"

"It's collapsible, see-" Jeff unclipped some hooks at the legs of the bassinet and folded it down into a flat rectangle "Now, you can just put it in your trunk."

Mark and Jeff walked out to his car and Mark put the bassinet into his trunk. He got into the driver seat of his car and started it up; he then noticed Jeff not making a move to get inside the car "What are you waiting for? Get a move on Hardy!"

Jeff bit his lip "What about Catilyn? She needs a car seat!"

Mark groaned and turned off his car before getting out and walking up to Jeff "Where are we going to get a car seat anyway Jeff?"

Jeff looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking "My dad never threw out any of my baby stuff, so we might have a car seat in the basement, wait here." Jeff handed Catilyn to Mark before hurrying back inside his house. Mark held Catilyn as chewed on her fingers, a thoughtful look in eyes. Mark sighed, Glenn was going to chop his nuts for sure, or send to the vet and get him neutered. He was only 18 and already up to kid number 3. He was startled out of his musing when Catilyn's spit covered hand moved about his face. Mark grunted in revulsion and held her at arms length.

"Ugh, not cool kid."

Catilyn giggled. Mark held her in one arm and wiped his face off with the collar of his shoulder. Jeff came out a few minutes later holding a old car seat.

"I found it!"

Mark groaned again "Great, let's rush over to my impending death, please."

Jeff sighed and opened the door to the backseat of Mark's car "There you go being so overdramatic! I'll probably take care of the baby anyway! I really don't have to go to school until they fix my schedule." Jeff popped his head out of the car as he fixed the car seat "Here, give me Catilyn, so I can strap her in."

Mark handed over Catilyn and watched Jeff strap her, like it was natural thing do "Aww, aren't the perfect little mommy?" He snickered as he saw Jeff glare at him.

"Yeah, you keep laughing, we'll see who's laughing when Glenn meets me and Catilyn, the 14 year old boy you knocked up and the daughter that came out of it."

Mark paled and got into his car quickly, Jeff following after him, snickering all the while. Mark started up the car and pulled out of the driveway, and for some reason Catilyn started to bawl. Mark cringed "Jesus Christ, Jeff, make her be quiet!"

Jeff cringed along with him "I dunno how, put on some music or something!"

Mark hurriedly pushed the play button on the CD player in his car without thinking and 'Enter Sandman' came blaring out, the song in the middle of a guitar solo. Jeff covered his ears as the loud music came blaring out "Ah! Shut it off, she's going to go crazy!"

Mark shut the music off only to hear silence. Mark stopped at a red light and turned back to see Catilyn "Holy shit, she's asleep!"

Jeff swatted at him "Shh, Shh! You'll wake her up again!" Jeff turned back on the music, but at a much lower volume. Mark and Jeff drove in silence for a few minutes longer before Jeff snorted quietly. Mark glanced at him before turning back to the road "What?"

Jeff shrugged and smiled "At least you know she's your kid."

Mark grinned "My kids have to have the best taste in music. Not any of that pussy Jonas Brother's shit."

Jeff gasped in horror "How dare you! I love them!"

Mark rolled his eyes and parked in his driveway, behind Glenn's car "Of course you love the fucking Jonas Brothers, you're practically a girl! I'd be surprised if you didn't have a pussy."

Jeff blushed again and punched Mark in the arm "I do not! You asshole!"

Mark grunted and rubbed his shoulder "Good god, I _know _you're not a man, so how can you hit so hard?" Jeff growled at him, making him throw up his hands in surrender "Geez, you're so violent…"

Mark took his keys out of the ignition and walked out of the car. Jeff did the same, opening the backseat of the car to take Catilyn out. Jeff closed the car door and surveyed Mark's house.

"Dude, you live above a funeral home? Isn't that a bit creepy?"

Mark shrugged "Glenn's a mortician."

Jeff smiled at him mischievously "Well, at least it won't be a problem when he kills you right?"

Mark gave him a blank look "Yeah, you're laughing now, but Glenn won't hesitate to beat my ass in front of you."

Jeff began to walk towards the funeral home/house, and stopped when he realized Mark wasn't following "Hey, aren't you coming?"

Mark let out a breath and said "I'm just saying good bye to my balls while I still have a chance."

Jeff rolled his eyes and let Mark walk ahead of him. Mark took out his keys and unlocked his door. Mark let Jeff walk ahead of him and up a long staircase leading to the upper story of the house. At the top of the stair case was another door, the door leading to Mark's impending doom.

Mark let out a huge sigh before taking out his keys and unlocking the door, pushing it open. Mark and Jeff walked inside and it was quiet for a moment until a little boy came out from one of the rooms and attached himself to Mark's leg "Daddy!" He squealed out.

Jeff eyes went wide and his jaw dropped "You have another kid?! Dude what the _fuck_!?"

A crash came from one of the back rooms and a male voice cursed "Mark? What the hell are you doing home…?" The man had come out and his voice trailed off at what he said when he saw the scene in front of him. His face crumpled into an angry scowl before strode over and grabbed Mark away from Jeff. Mark grunted when his brother held him so tightly and tried to make him loosen up "Glenn! I'd like you to meet Jeff!"

Jeff bit at his lip when he saw what was about to happen, he didn't want Mark to get hurt and quickly thought of something when Catilyn began to cry. Jeff pried Glenn's fingers from Mark's shirt and gave him Catilyn "Could you watch her for just a sec, Mark and I have some matters to discuss."

Jeff dragged Mark down the stairs and out to his car "Alright, Mark, I'm going to kick your ass." He said quietly.

"What? Why I thought you were saving me!"

Jeff shook his head "I am! I'm going to be your scorned lover, just play along!"

Jeff snuck a glance at the window and saw that Glenn was watching "You had another kid this entire time and you never thought to tell me?!! What the fuck is wrong with you!"

Mark rolled his eyes "Oh please! You're so predictable I knew you would act like this so I didn't tell you!"

Jeff put his hands on his hips "I am sooo not predictable, I just thought that as my boyfriend you'd tell me important shit like this! And now you have another child, what the fuck?? This is your entire fault!!"

Mark raised an eyebrow at this and made something at the moment's notice "MY fault?! MY FAULT??! You were the one acting like a bitch in heat, begging me to fuck YOU!"

Jeff's cheeks brightened at the lie "Oh, please! I didn't make you fuck me! You can control your balls! The least you could do was put on a fucking condom!"

"You told me you were on birth control; I didn't think I needed to put a fucking condom on!"

Jeff flailed his hands crazily, as if he were mega pissed "It doesn't matter anymore you're up to kid number fucking two, and I have barely started high school!"

Mark snorted "You mean kid number three!"

Jeff's jaw dropped "Kid number _3_??!! You bastard! You whore!! I can't believe you did-"

Mark covered his ears "My god woman can't you have one pair of lips that aren't always flapping in the fucking wind??!!!"

Jeff's eyes widened at that little remark. Growing ticked, he balled his hand into a fist "Ugh! You asshole!!!" He then proceeded to punch Mark in the face.

Mark went down at the unexpectedly hard hit and fell to the ground. Jeff took a glance at the window and saw that Glenn was laughing his ass off at the turn of these events. Still feeling a bit miffed at that remark Jeff stormed back upstairs and saw Glenn was still laughing like crazy, along with the other children in his possession. Jeff took Catilyn from Glenn and said sweetly "Thank you for watching her Glenn."

Glenn wiped a tear from his eye and smiled down at Jeff before patting his head "No problem, no problem." Glenn than bounded down the stairs to see if his brother was okay or not. Jeff peered out of the window and saw that Glenn was laughing and pointing as Mark rolled around on the ground in pain.

Jeff sat down on the couch and was surprised when a little red-headed child came up to him and began to talk "Hi! I'm Connor!"

Jeff smiled at him "Hello, I'm Jeff. Nice to meet you Connor."

Connor smiled at him before saying "What dat?" He pointed Catilyn, who was looking around tiredly in his arms. Jeff smiled at Connor and patted his head "Not, what Connor, who. This is Catilyn, you're new little sister."

Connor looked thoughtful for a moment before saying "Cans I touch?"

Jeff nodded but cautioned him "Be gentle though, she's just a baby."

Jeff watched with a small smile as the small boy drug his fingers gently over Catilyn cheek. Catilyn, in response, grabbed his finger tightly in her grasp. Connor squealed in happiness and laughed. Jeff smiled at him again and asked "How old are you Connor?"

Connor smiled, the gap in his teeth looking adorable, and said "Twee!"

"You're three years old Connor?"

Connor nodded happily.

"Well, aren't you a big boy!"

Jeff looked at the window and saw that Glenn was still laughing at Mark, who was attempting to right himself, before looking back at Connor "Now, Connor, do you have another brother or sister?"

Connor nodded excitingly "Yeah, yeah! Coopah! Coopah!" He yelled while running somewhere. Jeff followed him into what looked like a bedroom and saw that Connor was sitting next to another red-headed child who Jeff presumed was Cooper. Jeff kneeled down next to Cooper and introduced himself "Hi, Cooper, I'm Jeff, and this is Catilyn, you're new sister!"

Cooper looked at him blankly for a few seconds before nodding and going back to whatever he was doing. Jeff frowned; he didn't even know the kid and he already didn't like him. Jeff walked back out to the living room to see Glenn dump Mark on the couch and walk back to office.

Jeff cringed as he saw what he had done to Mark; He sat down next to him and touched his arm gently "Geez, Mark, I didn't mean to hit you so hard. I'm sorry!"

Mark groaned and smiled through the pain and looked at him "He didn't kill me and that's all that matters."

Jeff snickered and put his head on Mark's shoulder "Right."

* * *

Cooper+ Connor is Redsandman's and why they are there will be revealed later.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boy can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review. Small typo in the last chapter. Jeff thinks that Cooper doesn't like him; he's just fine with Cooper.

* * *

Jeff held Catilyn in one arm and bit her lips as Mark held and ice pack to his eye, groaning and mumbling all the while. Connor was running his chubby fingers through Catilyn's hair and making funny noises at her while Cooper was letting Catilyn hold one of his fingers in her tiny fist. Jeff stared down at the three children, smiling, gently. Hearing Mark groan in pain once again; Jeff decided to finally squash his curiosity about these children. Jeff moved on the sofa next to Mark and leaned his head on Mark's shoulder. Jeff rubbed Catilyn's tummy and cleared his throat quietly "So…you have two others kids. How?"

Mark shifted and let out a sigh, removing the ice pack from his swelling eye "Well, Cooper was my first kid, I made him when I was 13; I-"

"13?!" Jeff screeched out, interrupting him.

Mark nodded and continued "Yeah 13, I had met this older chick, Sara was her name, and we fucked. She actually said she was on birth control; we broke up before Cooper was born, though. She brought him over here because her parents wanted to give him up for adoption. I took him in, though Glenn watched him most of the time. I'm pretty sure the only reason that bitch fucked me, was to get into Glenn's pants anyways."

Jeff blinked "Uh…wow." Jeff looked over at the two kids on the carpet; Connor was talking excitedly about something or the other and Cooper sat there, listening. Jeff turned to Mark and spoke to him, worried "If he was born when you were 13, that means he's five. I've noticed the entire time I've been here Cooper hasn't spoken a word. Is he shy?"

Mark shook his head, his mouth tilting downward in a frown, "No he's mute."

Jeff looked sadly at the child who seemed to have no emotion on his face at all "Well, I'm sure he'll talk when he's ready. Its better not to rush things like these."

Mark smiled lightly and looked at Jeff "You know, everyone else just asks 'What wrong with him?' when they find out he's mute."

Jeff raised an eyebrow "I'm not like anyone else and beside nothing is wrong with him, if he chooses not to speak, he doesn't have to. Now, how did Connor come about?"

Mark laid his own head and Jeff shoulder's and let out a tired groan "I was 15 and met this guy; another older guy; James. He was hot and he wanted to fuck and I thought there was no way he could get pregnant so I didn't bother with a condom. After I did knock him up he goes and tells me he's a hermaphrodite."

Jeff stopped his story "Wait, couldn't you tell?"

Mark smirked at him "Not everyone has such _feminine _additions, like you do. On the outside he was a boy, but on the inside he was a bitch."

Jeff glared at him playfully and motioned for him to continue.

"So, after he tells me this, I want nothing to do with him; at all. Just like Sara he brings the kid to my doorstep telling me, he doesn't have time for kids, a load of pretentious bullshit if you ask me."

Jeff tipped his head back and looked to the ceiling, contemplating all he heard "You were...uh… pretty busy back then, huh?"

Mark sidled up to him, molding his body against Jeff's side. He placed a hand on Jeff's tit and whispered in his ear "We can get real busy right now, baby."

Jeff blushed fiercely and kicked Mark off the couch "Why are you such a pervert? I'm calling Glenn. Glenn! Glenn!"

Mark scrambled around, trying to right himself as his older brother came thundering out of his office. Glenn set his eyes on a red faced Jeff and a pale Mark.

"What."

Jeff slyly glimpsed at Mark, who looked like he was preparing to go 6 feet under. He smiled before turning back to Glenn "I saw a rat."

Glenn's face wrinkled in confusion before he asked another question "Why the hell did you call me out here? You have hold of Mark by the cock, make him grab it!"

Jeff rolled his eyes and shook his head, pretending to be really fed up "I tried to, but while I have him by the cock, he has no balls. It looked at him and he ran like a bitch."

Glenn's eyes twinkled and he grinned at his younger brother before looking back at Jeff "I can believe that. Mark is such a little bitch, getting scared by a rat. I'll get it." Glenn turned and walked away sniggering and snickering all the while.

Jeff looked down at Catilyn, who had fallen asleep in his arms. Jeff nudged Mark with his shoulder "Go get Catilyn's stuff from the car, my arms are falling asleep."

Mark walked out with his head down, looking like a kicked puppy due to his newly bruised reputation with his older brother. Jeff sat down on the floor between Connor and Cooper and spoke to Cooper quietly "Did you hear what I said to your dad?"

Cooper nodded. Jeff held his chin in his hands "I really meant it Cooper, nothing is wrong with you. Just because you don't speak doesn't mean that you're stupid. You're talk when you're ready won't you?" Cooper smiled and nodded at him. Jeff smiled back "Good."

Connor tugged on Jeff's arm to get his attention; Jeff turned to him and asked "What's wrong Connor?"

Connor looked sad before responding "I wan play wit baby, but she sweep!"

Jeff raised an eyebrow at how well this kid could speak "You want to play with Catilyn?"

Connor nodded. Jeff rolled his eyes and explained "Connor, babies need lots of energy so they're asleep for very long periods of time. Catilyn won't be awake for a couple more hours. You can help me feed her, would you like that?"

Connor clapped his hands excitedly "Yeah!!"

Jeff shushed him quickly "You don't want to wake her up right?"

Connor shook his head and pressed and finger to his lips in a shushing motion. He smoothed back Catilyn's hair and whispered "Caty sweep now."

* * *

So sorry for it being so short. I thought I would get the back story in there along with some cuteness! I'll be updating Anyway you want it pretty soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boys can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

~I'm back.~

* * *

Jeff spent the entire day at Mark's house, just cleaning. Connor followed him around like a puppy, offering to help in anyway. Jeff could see that Connor had a slight attention problem, but paid no attention to it, continuing to clean and wash the house. Mark had retreated to his room, to take a nap. When Jeff passed by he could hear Mark's bear like snores, drifting through his bedroom door. Jeff and Connor passed by a napping Cooper and it reminded Jeff that Connor should also be taking a nap. Jeff picked up Connor and held him against his hip before asking him a question "Aren't you sleepy, Connor? Don't you wanna take a nap like Cooper and Catilyn?"

Connor shook his head and leaned his head on Jeff's shoulder "Nooo, I wanna stay up for Caty!"

Jeff rubbed Connor's back and kissed his cheek "You sound really tired, if you take a nap, I'll make you a sandwich when you wake up."

Connor looked up at Jeff sleepily "Tuna?"

"All the tuna you can eat!"

Connor let his body relax against Jeff before falling into a deep sleep. Jeff walked into the bedroom Cooper was sleeping in; on the top bunk bed. Jeff put the small boy down lightly on the bottom bunk and covered him with his 'Repo the Genetic Opera' blanket. Jeff smoothed back the long red bangs on Connor's forehead before cleaning up the bedroom.

After putting the toys and clothes where they should have been, Jeff checked the time. It was about 2:30 in the afternoon. Glenn had been working all day; he wondered if he was hungry. Jeff walked into the kitchen and made a chicken sandwich for Glenn, grabbing a beer on the way out before making his way down the stairs to Glenn's work station. Jeff stood in front of the metal door, splattered in what he hoped wasn't blood stains, and knocked gently. The door groaned open eerily and half of Glenn's face peered at him questioningly. Jeff swallowed down the squeak that wanted to burst out and held out the food and drink "Here, you've been working all day; I thought you would be hungry…"

Glenn's eyes widened before the door swung open and it let Jeff get a good look at Glenn, who looked like a demented surgeon, a face mask covering half of his face and a smock covered in blood. Glenn stepped aside and let Jeff step inside before letting the door shut behind him on his own. Jeff jumped as the heavy metal door slammed behind him and tried to see anything but the dead body, he guessed, that Glenn was draining. It was very hard because Glenn kept all of the lights off, except for the one over his work station. Jeff squinted as Glenn suddenly flicked all the lights on and watched as Glenn pulled down his face mask, took off his bloody gloves and took a bite of the sandwich. Jeff stood awkwardly during the silence, nothing but Glenn's chewing could be heard.

"Mark's right."

Jeff jumped at Glenn, who managed to get so close to him without making a sound. "A-ah, right about what?"

Glenn smirked crookedly at him "You _do _have small tits."

Jeff blushed fire engine red and realized the due to Glenn's height, he could see down Jeff's shirt, and Glenn could find no cleavage. Jeff glared at him through his embarrassment and raised his knee, crushing Glenn's groin. Glenn went down with grunt of pain and Jeff stepped over him angrily.

"Ah, you fuckin' bitch!" he heard Glenn grunt.

Jeff turned back to the main clutching his balls in pain "Fuck you, you pervert!" he screamed and ran back up to the apartment. Jeff let out a breath of anger as he stepped into the kitchen. He guessed he could at least make that sandwich that Connor wanted so bad. Jeff looked inside the fridge for mayo and the other necessary ingredients and in the midst he heard a shrill cry. Jeff closed the fridge and walked into Mark's bedroom, where Catilyn was staying.

Mark, who had been sleeping the entire day, didn't even twitch at the sound of Catilyn's loud crying. Jeff picked her up and rubbed her back as her crying quieted down. He carried Catilyn out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where he began making formula for Catilyn to eat. Catilyn cooed in his ear and began to gnaw on his hair. Jeff grimaced at that and pulled his hair out of her mouth and flipped it over his shoulder. Jeff had just added the powder to the hot water when Mark walked in scratching his bare chest and yawning.

Jeff blushed at his half nakedness and handed Catilyn to him while he made her some lunch. Mark sat down at the kitchen table and placed Catilyn in his lap before Connor came running in. Connor by passed Mark completely, opting to wrap himself around Jeff's left leg "Hi, Jeffy!"

Jeff looked away from pouring the now made formula into a bottle, "Hey Connor, how was your nap?"

"Nice. I'm hungry!"

Jeff patted his head and sat down at the kitchen table and took Catilyn from Mark "Sure, I'll make you that sandwich after I feed Catilyn, okay?"

"Okay!" Connor climbed up into Mark's lap so he could get a good look at his new little sister. Mark readjusted Connor and spoke to Jeff "So, what did you do all day?"

Jeff shrugged lightly, trying not to jostle Catilyn "Oh you know, cleaned, put Connor down for a nap and I kicked Glenn in the balls."

"WHAT?!"

* * *

The chapter was like childbirth. Oh god.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boys can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

~ I'm going to take a one at a time approach to the stories on my page. This will be the only story updated until it is complete and then I will finish a Naruto fanfic I have started. Happy readings! Read and review!~

* * *

Jeff blinked as Mark quickly took Connor off his lap before rushing down the stairs to Glenn. Jeff could hear Mark's loud laughter at Glenn's pain, obviously getting back at Glenn for laughing at him earlier in the day. Jeff sighed and continued to feed Catilyn, whose bright green eyes had been staring at Connor the entire time. Connor smiled at her, making Catilyn swing a clasped fist in his direction (1). Jeff saw the Catilyn had finished, for she had turned her head away from the bottle with a displeasured whine. Jeff wiped her chin with her bib before placing Catilyn's head on his shoulder and gently patted her back. Catilyn let out a small burp and a hiccup before snuggling into Jeff's shoulder. Jeff stood up and walked back into Mark's bedroom and set Catilyn back into her bassinet. Her bright green eyes looked up at him sleepily before she gave him a wide, toothless smile before falling asleep. Jeff nearly melted at the gesture. Jeff ran his finger through her hair and down her cheeks before leaving the room.

Jeff came back into the kitchen to see Connor had woken up Cooper and brought him into the kitchen with him. Cooper was sitting on his chair sleepily, his bright red hair sticking up every which way. Despite the fact that he was only 5 he had a gorgeous mane of red hair that fell to the top of his back. Jeff ran his fingers through Cooper's hair, greeting him.

"Hey Cooper. How was your nap?"

Cooper just blinked at him sleepily before smiling. Jeff smiled back and began making the sandwich that he promised Connor. Jeff set the plate of food in front of Connor before asking him "What do you want to drink?"

"Milk!"

Jeff giggled at the enthusiastic response. He poured a cup of milk for Connor before going back to check on Catilyn. She was still soundly asleep, but had shifted positions, lying on her arm awkwardly. Jeff sought to remedy this and put her in a more comfortable position, on her back. Jeff was about to leave again when he heard Mark's cell phone ring. His ring tone was 'Ride the Lightning' and it started so abruptly that I startled Catilyn out of her sleep. She immediately began to wail, her arms reaching out to Jeff for comfort. Jeff picked her up and quieted her down quickly before checking the caller ID on Mark's phone. Funny enough, it was Matt. Jeff held Catilyn against his shoulder with one arm and flipped open Mark's phone, answering it.

"Hello?"

Jeff had to hold the phone away from his ear the way Matt was hollering "CALLOWAY! Where the fuck is my brother!? You dirty sonvabitch! I'll kill you!"

Jeff rolled his eyes at his brother. As if he could remove his cock from a chick pussy long enough to kick some ass "Matt, shut up."

"Jeff!? Where are you? What happened?! Did Mark kidnap you?!"

Jeff rolled his eyes before lying back on Mark's bed, putting Catilyn against his chest "Don't be stupid Matt. I've been here all day with him."

"ALL DAY?! He didn't rape you did he????"

"No, dumb ass! He couldn't have, his brother has been here all day too. Why are you calling him anyway?"

"Its like 5:30, Jeff, you should come home now."

Jeff looked at the clock on Mark's dresser, it really _was _that late. He didn't even realize. "I guess, it is late. Will you come pick me up Matt?"

"Of course, I'll be there in a few. Bye."

Jeff put Mark's phone back on his dresser before snuggling in further on Mark's bed. Mark's body heat rose from the bed and cocooned around him and Catilyn, pulling them into sleep. Jeff's eyes snapped open when he heard the bedroom door open and Catilyn squirmed awake. Jeff sat up with a yawn and saw Mark in the door way, smirking.

"Please don't get up on my account. I'll join you." Before Jeff could say anything, Mark slipped into bed with him, an arm wound across his waist.

Jeff blushed and wiggled out of the embrace.

"As fun as this was, Matt just called."

Mark groaned and rolled over onto his stomach, hiding his face in his pillow "What did that fucker want?"

Jeff pulled Catilyn to sit up in his lap and answered "He said its getting late and I should get back home."

Mark let out a sigh and began to sit up "Do you want me to give you a ride or what?"

Jeff shook his head "No thanks, Matt's coming over here to pick me up. He said he would be here in a few."

Mark got up and took Catilyn from his arms before walking into the living room, with Jeff following behind him. Mark sat down on the couch, Cooper and Connor on either side of him, and began watching TV. Jeff sat down on the chair closest to the door and began putting on his shoes. Jeff stood up and stood by the door, not noticing Connor get off the couch and toddle over to him. Jeff looked down as Connor wrapped himself around his leg "Where are ya goin' Jeffy?"

Jeff smiled at the cute nickname and ran his fingers through Connor's chin length red hair, cooing at him in a soft voice "I have to go home now Connor. My big brother's coming over to pick me up."

Connor frowned heavily "But ya can't leave, Jeffy! Ya won't come back then!"

Jeff crouched down and pulled Connor into a hug "Of course I'm coming back, why would you think I wouldn't?"

Connor pouted and looked at the ground "Cuz, they always end up leavin…"

Jeff pulled Connor tighter against his chest and said "I would never do that! I would never leave you guys all of the sudden." Jeff looked around and then mocked whispered in Connor's ear "Personally…I don't think your daddy is smart enough to take care of you guys and Catilyn all by himself…"

Jeff, Connor and Cooper giggled loudly as Mark growled at them. Jeff stuck his tongue out at him before straightening up as he heard loud honking outside the building. Jeff checked at the window and saw that it was indeed, Matt. Jeff turned back to his new 'family' as he had started to call them in his head and sighed. He picked up Connor and gave him a kiss on the cheek, smiling when Connor mirrored the action. He pecked Cooper on the forehead, who waved back at him before snatching Catilyn out of Marks arms.

Held her up at arms length and kissed her all over "Bye, baby! Bye!" After smothering her in kisses Jeff set her back in Mark's arms before turning to go out the door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Aren't you forgetting something _Jeffy_??"

Jeff stopped and turned around, looking at Mark with a frown on his face "Um…I don't think so…"

Mark clutched his chest in mock sorrow "Aww, that hurts. What about _my _goodbye kiss Jeff?"

Jeff blushed and glared at Mark "Wha~? What are you talking about?! You don't need a goodbye kiss, it was only for the kids!"

Mark shrugged and walked up next to him, Catilyn squirming in his arms "Alright, alright. Here's the deal, gimme a kiss right 'ere-" Mark tapped his cheek "And you can be on your way."

Jeff glared at him and crossed his arms, preparing to stand there for a while. Jeff jumped as Matt blared his horn, honking insistently. Jeff let out sigh of defeat before quickly tip toeing and aiming a kiss at Mark's cheek.

What he didn't expect, however, was for Mark to turn his head at the last second, making him land a kiss, smack-dab on his lips. Jeff flew away in shock, his back slamming loudly against the door.

"Uh-uh….mah…I—BYE!" Jeff squeaked before running out of the room at high speed.

Mark smirked at his retreating figure before looking down at Catilyn, who giggled up at him "Hmm. Your momma has soft lips, Caty."

* * *

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Craapppy ending man!

1- Yeah at about three months is when a baby first open's is hand, but most of the time its in a tight fist.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boys can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

* * *

Jeff hopped into Matt's car and closed the door with a loud slam. He still had the remains of the blush, still swimming about on his face. He could feel Matt's eyes on him before Matt looked away, concentrating on the road. Jeff licked his lips, tasting a faint combination of beer and tobacco, making him think, once more, of Mark. He let a loud groan, which startled Matt, before covering his face with his hands and leaning forward onto the dashboard. He could hear Matt breathe heavily, who quickly swerved the car back to its proper position on the road.

"…Uh. Jeff? Is something…um, wrong?"

Jeff let out a breath before shaking his head and looking out the window near his head "No, I'm just…worried that Mark will make me fail this project" he said, quickly coming up with a lie.

"Yeah. I don't trust the big oaf either. You shouldn't be alone with him Jeff, he could really hurt you!"

Jeff rolled his eyes, but knew his brother was genuinely concerned for him. Jeff had tried to commit suicide two weeks after the death of their mother and that was the only time he had seen Matt so wrecked. He could never do that to Matt again, never.

Jeff opened the car door after Matt had parked it before hopping out and walking to his front door. He waited for Matt to come and unlock the door, while sitting on the porch swing. He swayed gently on the swing before drifting into a light doze.

….

"_Mark, this house is beautiful!" a 20 year Jeff squealed, gently launching himself at his fiancé. Mark had brought the entire family down to the country, a couple of miles from his childhood home, and bought a lovely little town house._

_Mark led Jeff inside pointing out all the fixtures and details "And there are 6 rooms, so one for Connor, Cooper and Catilyn."_

_Jeff bit his lip and hugged Mark before putting the older man's hand on his belly "And don't forget this one now."_

_Mark smiled down at him, a lopsided, bright smile before kissing him on the lips and rubbing his belly gently "Never."_

_Jeff stared up at his soon-to-be husband "I-"_

…_._

"JEFF!!"

Jeff snapped to attention and nearly fell out of the porch swing. He glared at his brother sleepily before rubbing his eyes.

"Why did you yell?" he mumbled.

Matt snorted at him "If I didn't yell, you would've been out here all night til' daddy came to get you. And by that time the mosquitoes woulda made a meal outta you. You would just been bitchin and complaining all night if that had happened."

Jeff glared at his older before flashes of his dream popped back into his head. Jeff paled, turned and ran into the house and straight to his room.

~!!~

Jeff burrowed into his covers, scared and confused. He had just been dreaming about **marrying **Mark Calloway! He had lost his mind? He had just met the older boy 2 days ago! He absolutely should not be thinking these kinds of things! He was only 14; he couldn't be thinking about marriage, especially not to someone like him!

In between his conflicting thoughts about Mark, he remembered yet again, that Mark had kissed him! Kissed him! This was a big fucking deal, and it was his first kiss! He actually found the idea pretty funny, he had just his first kiss with a man he already had a child with.

Jeff disagreed with himself on that thought. He and Mark didn't _actually _have a child together. A doll for an assignment just happened to magically come alive and represent both Mark and himself feature wise. Jeff unconsciously let a hand drift down to his stomach, making him feel fluttery on the inside. Was the idea of having a baby with Mark so repulsive? He knew it wasn't, he would like to have children…but so soon, it seemed out of the question.

Jeff burrowed deeper into his bed and let out a sigh. He had never felt this way for anyone, it was a weird feeling. It was like the thought of being with Mark sent his stomach fluttering and his heart beating. The sight of Mark's smile could make him blush happily. Mark's touch could set him on fire. He didn't know what this feeling was, but he liked it.

Jeff snuggled into his bed before once again, falling asleep.

….

_Jeff looked at the tiny baby boy nursing on his chest with a beaming smile. The birth had been easy and barely painful and had taken only an hour, probably because of the c-section. He was glad, the entire family had been waiting months for this little angel to be born and now he was finally here. He was so tiny and fragile. It was a shame that Jeff couldn't bring him home._

_It seemed he had gotten his grandfather's eyes because they were a beautiful hazel-brown. The small mouth released his nipple with a small pop and squirmed around in his arms. Jeff pulled up the shoulder of the paper gown and burped his little boy._

_Jeff looked up and smiled as the entire family waltzed in, having been called a few minutes earlier. Jeff accepted the kiss given to him by his husband, the wedding band on his finger shining bright. He gave each of his children kisses and let them having a good long look at their baby brother._

_He felt Mark smooth back his hair and press a kiss to his forehead "I'm so proud of you…" he heard the words whispered into his hair and snuggled up into it, comforted on the fact that did so well on his first, official birth._

_He felt Mark wrap himself around his upper body gently before the words were whispered into his neck "God…I love you."_

_He felt himself turning to that face and opening his mouth to say those three words. He could taste them on his lips…_

…_._

Jeff blinked open his eyes confusedly for a moment. Splashes and splotches of his dream zipped behind his eyelids before replaying slowly. Jeff pressed the heels of his palms to eye socket, trying to rid his brain of his shamefully pleasurable dream. God, he couldn't tell anyone about this; I mean how would anyone react to something like this? Jeff didn't even know how to react to this, and this was his fucking problem!

He dreamt about giving birth and being married to Mark. He still couldn't believe it, he didn't know where these feeling had come from, and he'd like to find out. Jeff shifted in his bed and looked out of his bedroom window and saw that it was still pretty dark. He flipped on his desk top computer and saw that the time was 11:30pm. Jeff stood up and stretched before changing into his pajamas. He always hated falling asleep in jeans; it was like the mist uncomfortable thing ever.

After Jeff had finished changing he slipped out of his room and into the kitchen. Jeff prowled through the fridge until found something suitable to his taste; cookie dough ice cream.

Jeff took out a bowl and set down next to the extra large carton, he also took out a spoon. He looked at the three items before picking up two; the carton and the spoon, before heading to the living room. He plopped himself down on the couch and clicked on the TV, the screen playing some loud and obnoxious porno. Jeff rolled his eyes before flipping the channel to some lifetime movie. While all the movies on this channel had the same plot with different actresses, it still made him feel something, no matter how many times he watched a movie. Maybe he was just sensitive like that.

Jeff swallowed a sticky glob of ice cream as the leading lady watched as her husband fucked another woman. Jeff raised his eyebrows and she picked up a letter opener and advanced at them. Jeff's eyes widened. He didn't know this was a horror movie! Jeff tried to get his fingers to move but he couldn't. Jeff let out a squeak before covering both his eyes with his hands.

He kept them squeezed tight as he heard the tearing of flesh, the spilling of blood and the blood curdling screams. Jeff let out a scream of his own when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.

"Shit, boy! Calm down!" Griped his father.

Jeff turned and looked at his father "Daddy! You shouldn't sneak up on people like that! You almost made my heart explode!"

Gilbert raised an eyebrow at him before he walked away mumbling something about PMS.

Jeff changed the channel quickly and chose to watch some cartoons.

~!!~

Jeff let Matt drop him off at Mark's in the morning instead of Mark coming to get him like yesterday. Jeff had spent the entire car ride trying to rid his thoughts of his most recent dreams. He really didn't need to spurting stuff out like that randomly when Mark was around.

Jeff walked up the stairs to the upper home, cringing and speeding up his walk as he heard the crunching sounds of bones being pulled apart from Glen's work station. Jeff knocked on the door and smiled when it was opened by Cooper. Jeff smiled and bent down to kiss him on the cheek "Good morning, Cooper."

Cooper returned the gesture before toddling off to the kitchen. Jeff closed the door behind him and walked into the living room and saw that Mark had rolled Catilyn's crib into the living room. Jeff walked over and peered into the crib, seeing Catilyn wide awake. He picked her up and kissed her "Good morning baby!"

Catilyn let out a happy giggle and joyful baby sounds before starting to chew on his hair. Jeff grimaced and extracted his hair from her mouth and set her back in her bassinet. He walked into the kitchen and found it odd that there was no breakfast on the table. Before he left he always made breakfast for Matt and his daddy. The table seemed strange without and food on it.

Jeff made a moderately huge breakfast with all the works, eggs, bacon, pancakes, coffee, with a bowl of fruit on the side. He really wasn't surprised when a sleepy eyed Connor came toddling into the kitchen in search of food.

His eyes immediately brightened when he caught sight of Jeff, wrapping himself around Jeff's leg as a sign of greeting. Jeff patted his head and smiled "Good morning, Connor."

"Hi Jeffy!!"

Jeff picked up Connor and set him at the table with a plate of food, along with a fork and a glass of milk. Jeff herded Cooper into the kitchen also for some breakfast. Jeff was curious to why Mark hadn't woken up as yet. He might as well go get him up for school.

Jeff pushed open Mark's door quietly and saw that Mark was, in fact, still sleeping. Jeff shook his head and flicked on the lights, rolling his eyes as Mark didn't even twitch. Jeff shook Mark's shoulders in an attempt to wake him up. Mark just rolled over.

Jeff let out a huff and rolled Mark onto his back "Mark…? Mark? Wake up!"

Nothing.

Jeff leaned over more, putting half his body on top of Mark and shook him "Mark!! Wake up dammit!"

Still nothing.

An idea popped into his head and Jeff straddled Mark and sat up.

"Markkkk. Markkk. Please wake up; I'm so horny right now…."

For some reason Mark's eyes immediately popped open, his hands flying to Jeff's hips. Jeff rolled his eyes at this "Wait, so the only way to wake you up is by offering sex? What the hell?"

Mark shrugged his shoulders before thrusting his morning wood up into Jeff "So, you gonna help me out or what?"

Jeff blushed and smacked Mark's hands away before getting off "I don't think so. However, I did make breakfast."

Mark looked at him in disbelief and motioned to the tent in his sweat pants "You did this. Fix it!"

Jeff blushed harder before leaving the room and going back to Catilyn. Jeff picked up Catilyn and brought her into the kitchen, to also make her some breakfast. By the time Cooper, Connor and Catilyn had all finished their breakfast Mark had showered and dressed.

He greeted his children and smacked Jeff on the ass before sitting down to his own breakfast. Jeff had just blushed and glared, retreating to the living room, for some early morning cartoons.

Jeff jumped as he felt Mark wrap himself around his upper body and kiss his neck.

"You gonna give me a good bye kiss?"

Jeff sighed, feeling tired already and the fact that his most recent dream was still fluttering around his head and turned his head and accepted the kiss.

Mark smirked at him after the kiss "It's nice to know you're warming up to being my little house wife, so soon."

Jeff blushed horribly and bit Mark's hand sending him cursing out the front door.

Jeff closed his eyes as one thought raced through his head _God. I love that asshole. _

* * *

Yeah. He admits it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boys can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

* * *

Jeff smiled as Catilyn toddled about the living room slowly, picking up random objects and putting them into her mouth. He just couldn't understand why babies had this strange urge to put everything in their mouths. Jeff had been coming over and staying at Mark's house to take care of the kids for about 3 months. The school had called and said he would have to repeat the year due to the school's error. Jeff really didn't mind, he got to spend more time with his kids. Yes, Jeff now classified Connor and Cooper as his own. Apparently he was the closest thing to a mother these boys had.

Catilyn was six months now and according to the doctor this was the stage where kids put everything in their mouth. Dr. McMinn had said that the fact that Catilyn was already walking was a very good sign of development. At the same time he had gotten Cooper and Connor checked as well. Dr. McMinn had given them the address to a mute school a couple of miles out of town. Jeff thought it was a great idea, at the school Cooper would learn sign language and how to communicate without speaking and would have the same curriculum as other public school children so he wouldn't be behind if he ever decided to transfer.

Cooper wanted no part of it. He refused to even look at them at the doctors and had pitched a fit when Mark had decided that he should go as well. Jeff didn't expect from Cooper, since he seldom cried, but he was just a child and they when drastic changes happen like this. Jeff had tried to consol him the best that he could, but he really couldn't help it. On Cooper's first day of school, he had clung to Jeff, crying and sobbing, silently pleading with Jeff not to let Mark take him. It had broken Jeff's heart.

However, Cooper had gotten over it in a matter of days was excited for school in the mornings. Mark and Jeff had taken their relationship further, but they had yet to actually consummate it. Jeff had been the one to initiate the relationship, his cycle (1) making his hormones a bit more then crazy. He had basically jumped Mark and raped his mouth. Jeff hadn't told Mark that he was in love with him yet; he felt the relationship was too fresh to spring something like that on Mark. However, it was never too early to fuck. He was going to let Mark finally fuck him tonight, he really didn't care for the whole 'no sex before marriage' crap and he and Mark had been together for almost two months. It was time to take the next step.

Jeff stood up and gently pried the remote from Catilyn's spit stained hands and brought her into the kitchen with him. He set her in the hand me down high chair that he had pulled from the garage (and disinfected) and took out a wet nap and began to wipe her fingers. She babbled at him, making grabby hands at his hair and smiling. Jeff picked her up and went to check on Connor, who at this hour should be waking up from his nap. Jeff opened up the door and found Connor on the bottom bed of the bunk bed, snuggled up in his brand new 'Kick-Ass' blanket. It was strange that Connor was still asleep, but Jeff had to wake him up anyway because if he didn't, Connor would be bouncing off the walls until 4 in the morning.

Jeff shook Connor awake gently and pulled him up with one hand, leading him out while he held on drowsily on his pant leg. He walked Connor into the kitchen and sat him in a chair, pecking him on the head softly. He put Catilyn in her high chair as well and began making lunch for them. Catilyn got a small bowl of honey nut cheerios with a bottle of apple juice and Connor got apple and peanut butter wedges.

"Baaa! Baaa! Bruggh!!" Catilyn yelled out loudly signaling that someone else had entered the kitchen and had picked her up. Jeff smiled as Mark kissed her cheek before setting her back on her high chair and patting Connor's head. Jeff snuggled into the hug Mark gave him and kissed back, however he punched Mark in the chest for coping a feel.

Mark sat down at the kitchen table with Catilyn in his arms and let out a sigh "I talked to your brother today." He stated.

Jeff didn't turn around from the macaroni and cheese he was making but tossed his response over his shoulder "Oh, what did you guys talk about?"

Mark fed Catilyn her juice and let his head fall against the back of the chair "He wanted to know what you do when you're here 24/7. He's getting pissed and he threaten bust my balls with a fucking tire iron."

Jeff turned off the stove and wiped his hands with a rag "Wow. He seems really mad, maybe I should stop coming over to a little while…"

Somehow Catilyn seemed to understand what he was saying and began to cry. Loudly. Jeff quickly snatched her up and quieted her down before sitting down next to Mark. Dr. McMinn also said that during this time separation anxiety finally kicks in and that leaving would cause fussyness and lots and lots of crying.

"Well, that's out of the question. Do you think we should tell him about Catilyn, Mark?"

Mark ran a hand down his face, agitated "I don't know Jeff, I'll think about it." He let out another sigh before looking at the clock on the stove "What time is Cooper's bus supposed to get here?"

Jeff thought about for a moment and said "At about 2:30, why?"

Mark shrugged "No reason, I just wanted to know. I'm gonna go take a nap."

Jeff furrowed his brows as he watched Mark slid his chair out and walk out of the kitchen.

"Don't you want any lunch?" Jeff called after him.

"No." He said snappishly before slamming his bedroom door. Jeff flinched at the loud slam and let out a sigh. He picked up a very quiet Catilyn and felt Connor follow him into the living room to wait for Cooper's bus.

~!!~

Jeff quietly opened Mark's bedroom door and slipped inside, he didn't bother turning the lights on and closed the door behind him. He could make out Mark's large sleeping silhouette on the bed and walked over. Mark was lying on his back, his chest rising up and down rhythmically.

Jeff slowly straddled the older man across his hips, wiggling a few times to get comfortable. He rand his hand down Mark's cheek and across his jaw "Mark? Mark, wake up."

He could make out in the darkness Mark finally waking up and making a groggy noise of confusion "Shit…Jeff. What are you doing?"

Jeff placed his hands on Mark's bare chest, slowly rubbing "What does it look like I'm doing?"

He felt Mark slowly run his hands up his thighs before resting them along his hips "Do you really want to do this Jeff? You don't have to."

Jeff rolled his eyes in the dark before reaching down and pulling up the hem of his shirt, tossing his shirt off. He took Mark's hands from his hips and placed them on his breasts, letting him cup them gently "I'm sure."

He felt Mark sit up, his hands moving back to their starting position of his hips, and pull him in close. He accepted the kiss Mark placed on his lips eagerly, his hands coming to rest around Mark's neck to pull them in even closer. Jeff opened his mouth as Mark's strong tongue stroked and teased his lips, his moans forever lost between their lips.

Jeff let out a soft mewl as Mark grabbed hold of his hair and tilted his neck, his lips teeth and tongue coming out to play with the slightly salty, pale skin of Jeff's neck. Mark bit at Jeff's neck aggressively, leaving bright red marks that everyone would see after this night.

Jeff clung to Mark as he felt himself go up in flames. Everything that Mark was doing was making him feel so hot. Jeff clung to Mark as he felt him unhook his bra straps. Jeff slid out the bra and let out a high pitched moan as Mark latched onto one of nipples, sucking like a new born babe. He moaned as Mark brought his other hand up to roll the other nipple until it rock hard.

Jeff let out another moan as Mark took hold of his hips and began to grind up into him. He got the hang of it quickly, rolling his hips down to match the pace of Mark's. He pressed his face into Mark's shoulder, trying to muffle his moans as he felt Mark's hot cock between their layers of clothes.

He swallowed hard as felt Mark begin to pull down his pants, the frantic bumping of their hips never stopping.

Both however, stopped moving when the door was snapped open and an infuriated and shocked Matthew Hardy stood in the doorway.

* * *

Yeah, you wish there was sexing this early in the story.

1-Another word for his period.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boys can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

~!!~

Jeff gasped and jumped off Mark's lap, hiding behind his broad chest and dressing himself. Mark had moved in front of him shielding him from whatever Matt decided to throw at them.

Matt stared at the two, a mix of horror and shock sprawled across his features. He bottled the anger inside him, afraid that such a burst of violent anger would scare Jeff. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, seeing bright red painting his eyelids. He let out a choked breath before speaking "Its time to leave, Jeff." That was the only thing he could civilly say with Mark in the room before leaving and shutting the door behind him.

Jeff felt Mark let out a sigh of relief as his finished securing his bra. He climbed over him to get to his shirt, but was stopped when Mark lifted him up and positioned him over his lap once more, his hands trying to unhook Jeff's bra. Jeff slapped his hands away climbing off his lap and throwing his shirt on. He stood up and sighed and Mark grasped his wrist and pulled him back down to the bed, across his lap.

"Mark, let me go. Matt is about to blow a gasket."

Mark licked a long stripe from Jeff's collar bone to the skin under Jeff's ear "He seemed fine to me…" he murmured, his hot breath making Jeff shiver. Jeff sighed leaning away from Mark's tempting mouth "Mark, I know Matt, he's really upset. And if I'm not out there in 2 point 5 seconds he's going to grab the shot gun from under his seat blow your right nut off, okay?" He ended the sentence giving Mark a closed lipped kiss on the lips.

Jeff hopped off Mark's thighs and watched with an amused smile as he flopped back on the bed, frustrated. Jeff walked over to the bedroom door and began to walk out; he stopped for a moment and turned, remembering something "Hey Mark?" he called out.

Mark, who had rolled over onto his stomach at this point let out a muffled 'yeah.'

"Could you give the kids a kiss goodbye for me?"

Mark sat up and stared at Jeff before smirking "Sure, but not until you give me a kiss first."

Jeff sighed playfully and gave Mark a small kiss on the lips, moaning quietly when Mark deepened the kiss by pulling him in by the waist. He froze when he heard a low, angry growl from behind him. Matt had gotten tired of waiting. Jeff stood up quickly, shooting a glance at Mark, seemingly thinking about something. Obviously Matt didn't feel like waiting any longer so he strode over and grabbed Jeff by the arm and proceeded to drag him out.

Jeff bit at his lip before digging his heels into the ground and adhering Matt's abduction.

"Mark…I, um. I love you." Jeff spat the phrase out quickly before snatching his arm back and running out of the bedroom door.

Both Mark and Matt stared at the door in disbelief before glancing at each other and glaring, Matt growled at him once more and left, slamming the door behind him.

Mark listened to the sound of truck tires peeling out of his driveway before collapsing onto his bed, Jeff's words ringing in his ears _'I love you…'_

~!!~

Jeff bit his lip as his father paced in front of him grumbling angrily. He twisted the edge of his shirt nervously before opening his mouth to speak "Daddy…"

"You shut your mouth!" He yelled, making tears crawl into Jeff's eyes.

"Jeffrey Nero Hardy, I thought I raised you better than this?! Running around sleeping with men, like some common whore!"

"But daddy…" He whimpered, tears sliding down his cheeks.

Gilbert pointed at his face, unmoved "Close up on those water works, boy, it won't do shit!" Jeff flinched as his dad cursed at him, quickly wiping away his tears.

"You are **not** leaving this house under any circumstances, do you understand me boy?"

Jeff sniffled "B-but, what about sch-"

"Don't you bring that up! I find out that you've been going to that _boy's _house everyday for three god-damned months, and for what? To fuck!? You are not leaving this house and you will never see that boy again!"

"Daddy, no! You can't do that, I lo-"

Gilbert turned to him angrily "Don't you dare let those slip outta your lips boy." Gilbert spoke calmly, quietly and with authority down at Jeff "You are not to leave this house, under any circumstances. Do you understand me?"

Jeff sniffled and wiped his cheeks with his palms "Yes, sir."

Gilbert sat down in front of the couch and dismissed Jeff "Get to your room boy."

Jeff nodded and walked slowly to his room. Once inside he collapsed onto his bed, sobbing into his sheets. What was he going to do? He couldn't just up and leave Cooper, Connor and Catilyn; it would just break his heart. He didn't know what to do, he loved Mark so much, he was so devastated.

Jeff lay there in his bed sobbing so hard, that he didn't hear his bedroom door open, he did feel the side of his mattress start to depress and he turned his head. Jeff glared daggers at the intruder through blurry eyes and turned around, showing his back.

Jeff wiggled away as Matt tried to be comforting by rubbing his arm and let out a huff. He heard Matt sigh before speaking up "Jeff, look, I know you're mad at me-"

Jeff spoke wetly "No shit." Sniffle, sniffle, more tears.

He heard Matt let out another woeful sigh "-But, I just wanted to protect you, Jeff…"

Jeff turned to face Matt, his cheeks stained with tears and colored red in shame and embarrassment "Protect me from what Matt? I was happy with Mark, he's a good person. Why can't you see that?"

He watched as Matt shrugged, looking around Jeff's dark room "Jeff I don't have anything against Mark in particular, I would still be an ass if you were fucking John, or somethin'."

Jeff let the silence sit for a while before speaking up "We didn't…"

Matt raised and eyebrow at him "Didn't what?"

Jeff blushed and burrowed into his bedspread "You, know, fuck. Today I was gonna, but you came in."

"So, you're still a virgin?"

Jeff sighed and turned around again "Yeah, and I'll probably stay that way for the rest of my life."

Jeff directed the next question of his shoulder to Matt "Matt, why'd you take me away from him?"

"I-I didn't want you to start hurting yourself again, just because he broke your heart. I'm sorry…"

Jeff turned around to face Matt once more and smiled sadly "Matt…I'm not a little boy anymore, you don't have to protect me or fight my battles, you have to let me do these things on my own."

Jeff took a deep breath and sat up, unconsciously putting a hand on his lower stomach "Look, Matt, I love Mark and I love my babies-"

Jeff blinked as Matt gripped his shoulders and screamed in his face "What?! I thought you said you were still a virgin!"

Jeff tilted his head in confusion "Wuh? I am, I'm talking about Cooper and Connor, Mark's kids."

Matt visibly deflated, his hands sliding off of Jeff's shoulder "Oh. So you and Mark have never made a child, right?"

Jeff swallowed discreetly and nodded "Of course." Technically Jeff and Mark didn't make Catilyn, the stork gave her to them (that makes the most sense so far).

Matt looked at Jeff, shameful and sorry "You don't hate me do you?"

Jeff shook his head and smiled "I could never hate you Matt, its impossible."

Matt's shoulder's slumped in relief before he hugged Jeff around the neck, quick and meaningful before walking out of Jeff's room. Jeff flopped back on his bed with a mournful sigh. He didn't know how to handle being away from his babies for so long.

~!!~

Mark held a sleepy, sniffling Catilyn in his arms wearily. Jeff had paid Glenn $50 to take the kids to the park so they could fuck. Catilyn had probably assumed Jeff would be here as he always was, but after a little of not seeing her mommy she grew scared. Usually her mommy would come to her if she cried. So she cried and cried and cried and cried some more, but still no mommy.

Mark lifted a bottle to her mouth and she complied, completely lax. Had Mark tried to give her the bottle while she was crying Catilyn would grow more irritated and absolutely wail. Catilyn fell asleep in his arms right after her dinner and Mark took this opportunity to bathe her and change her. It seemed that without Jeff around, Catilyn was so completely frightened that not even the sight of her daddy could calm her down. This had been going on and off all afternoon. Catilyn would cry and scream bloody murder, refusing to eat, sleep or comply with the demands of her daddy until she tired herself out too much to fight back. It was really starting to grate on Mark's nerves.

Mark set her down, hoping she would sleep long enough for him to get through a phone call. Mark lay on his bed and dialed the number of Catilyn's pediatrician.

"Hello? Dr. McMinn speaking, how may I help you?"

Mark let out a tired yawn before speaking "Hey, Dr. McMinn, its me, Mark."

"Oh, hello Mark! I'm surprised to be hearing from you, where's Jeff?"

"His brother took him away; I guess I won't be seeing him for a while."

"Hmm. He is a bit young… but anyway is there anything wrong?"

Mark scratched the back of his head wearily "Catilyn won't stop crying. She came home from a day at the park and when she realized Jeff wasn't around she just wouldn't shut up. Its been hours, doc, I'm desperate."

Mark heard some humming on the line before Dr. McMinn spoke up "Well, Catilyn seems to be suffering from separation anxiety. At 6 months children realize that they and their mothers are two separate beings and can be separated. Basically they learn that mommy can go bye-bye. I would suggest letting her duke it out, by spending time with you at first. If it persists, I would suggest you drag Jeff back into your bat cave."

Mark can just imagine the crazy smile on the woman's face.

"Thanks, doc. Have a nice night."

"You too!"

~!!~

Mark stared down at the red faced, screaming, squirming demon in his arms. It has been 3 days. _3 fucking days. _He couldn't take this anymore, he was getting Jeff back.

~!!~

I feel like cliffhangers make me a little more evil, than I already am.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the wrestlers mentioned in this story, nor does this story pertain to their actual sexual orientation.**

Title: Baby Making Position

Author: pinch5

Summary: Jeff and Mark are not friends. They sure as hell don't become friends when they a paired up for health class with that stupid fake baby. What happens when the baby turns real? Jeff Hardy/The Undertaker.

Warnings: BoyxBoy, cursing, violence, shameless flirting, mpreg.

A/N: Hermaphrodites are pretty common in this world, and like 1 in every 2 boys in one. Boys can pregnant so being gay is not a big deal. Read + review.

Sorry I've been gone so damn long! I have been trying to update every story I have, which is about 12 or so! PS- stop pestering me about finishing stories and stuff. I have school and a life. I can't dedicate it all to here.

Mark ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. He couldn't possibly fathom how Glenn did this twice and not have a nervous breakdown. He had just put down Catilyn for a nap and he had decided that he couldn't go another day of Catilyn's demonic wailing. He had decided to keep Cooper home from school today because Catilyn's crying had kept him up all night as well. He gently moved Catilyn from her crib to his arms and carried her down to the car, hoping she didn't wake up again. He climbed into the driver's seat and pulled out his phone and sent Glenn a text to tell he was going out and to watch Cooper and Connor.

He was getting Jeff back, one way or another.

~!~

Jeff laid on his bed snuggled into his pillow, letting out an annoyed sob when he felt that it was damp with his tears. He angrily sat up and flipped the pillow over before burying his face in it once more and letting out tears of grief. He couldn't do this anymore! He wanted to Mark! He wanted to see his babies! Jeff didn't think he could handle being away from them for so long, his heart was aching. Not to mention, he was still a goddamned virgin! He really loved Mark and it was the best thing to give Mark his virginity.

Jeff rolled onto his back and stared at his stationary ceiling fan. He loved Mark, he knew this but…did Mark love him? Maybe daddy and Matt are right, maybe Mark just wants him because he's an easy lay. This wouldn't be the first time Matt and daddy had proved that he was just a kid. Jeff pulled the covers up under his chin and let out a woeful sigh. Maybe he was getting a little in over his head; he was only 14 years old and Mark was 18! He was a grown man, with kids!

Jeff felt tears well up in his eyes at his own doubts. If Mark didn't love him, would he have to stay with Catilyn? He didn't want her to grow up with only one parent but he certainly didn't want to stay in a loveless relationship just for her.

Jeff sniffed and wiped his tears before feeling extremely tired. All that crying had worn him out. Jeff let his eyes slip closed before the snapped right back open when he heard a loud wail from outside of his bedroom.

~!~

Mark groaned and rubbed his temples. 10 minutes into the ride over to Jeff's house, Catilyn had woken up. Mark was surprised that none of his windows were shattered by now. Mark parked haphazardly in Jeff's driveway, stepped out of his car and slammed the door shut. He walked around and opened the door to the backseat and proceeded to unhook Catilyn from her car seat and put her in his arms. Mark drew his head back from her face as she screamed louder, probably making the entire town think he was trying to kill her. Mark slammed the door shut before walking to the house and knocking on the door.

Mark rolled his eyes as a sweaty, topless and out of breath Matt Hardy stood at the door, glaring at him angrily.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Matt growled at him.

Mark growled right back, putting a crying Catilyn in front of him "I'm to see Jeff, asshole, out of the way."

Matt stepped back when Mark shoved he baby at him and glared at his back "Whose baby is that and who the fuck would be dumb enough to leave you with it?"

Mark glared right back at Matt before smirking "You really don't know whose baby is this? _Really?_ Take a good, long look Hardy, maybe you'll figure it out."

Mark grinned nastily as Matt peered intently at the wailing child before recoiling as if she had vomited on him "No! He said he never fucked you!" Matt spat at him.

Mark opened his mouth to reply when a happy squeal caught his attention. Jeff ran up to Mark and gently took the crying Catilyn in his arms, letting tears of happiness roll down his cheeks. Jeff let out a sigh of relief as he felt a weight lifted from both his shoulders and his heart.

Mark blinked in surprise at Catilyn's crying died down to small whimpers and hiccups in the arms of her mother. Jeff cradled Catilyn close to him and without sparing a glance to the other to people in the room; he turned and walked back into his bedroom.

Mark and Matt stared as Jeff turned his back on them and bother flinched as the door slammed shut. They both blinked before looking at the other and glaring. Mark sighed and ran a hand through his hair, shrugging off his jacket. He threw the jacket at Matt and it landed on his head, serving to infuriate Matt a little bit more. Mark took a seat on the couch and tossed a look at Matt.

"Be a good host and get me a beer."

Matt grabbed the jacket from atop his head and glared at Mark "What the fuck for? You ain't staying here!"

Mark crossed his arms and smirked at Matt "I'm staying here as long as my kid is here. Are you really going to throw me out and make Jeff upset again? You fucked him over the last time; I don't think you should do it again."

Matt growled at Mark before letting out a sigh of defeat and heading to the kitchen.

Mark grinned victoriously.

~!~

Jeff sat down on his bed and smiled when Catilyn looked up at him. Now that he was away from the disaster that was Mark and Matt in the same room, he could finally relax and be happy with his baby.

Jeff kissed Catilyn's forehead and sighed happily "Oh Catilyn, I missed you so much. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't come back to me. I love you so much."

Jeff smiled wetly as Catilyn cooed up at him, her fingers tangling up in Jeff's hair. Jeff repositioned himself on his back and put Catilyn on his chest. Catilyn snuggled into his soft chest drowsily before drifting off to sleep. Jeff smiled down at her and let out a breath in contentment.

This is how it was supposed to be.

~!~

Mark glared at Matt over the rim of his beer as Matt glared right back at him. They had been sitting this way for 2 hours and it was starting to grate on Mark's nerves. Hardy wasn't going to keep him from taking Jeff back with him.

Matt crossed his arms as he glared right back over at Mark. Mark didn't have any right to be here and not with a child! He hoped to God the baby wasn't Jeff's. When did Jeff get pregnant and if he was pregnant where the hell did he give birth? How long had Jeff and Mark been seeing each other? Matt was so confused.

Mark twitched and broke the staring contest as he phone began to vibrate; he had jut received a text message.

_Catilyn's hungry. Bring food._

Mark groaned and looked over at Matt.

"I'll be right back. You lock me out and I will send Jeff on your ass."

Matt grunted in response, snatching the beer out of Mark's hand and draining the bottle.

Mark glared at him in annoyance. "Dick."

Mark pulled open the door aggressively and walked out of the house and to his car. He unlocked his car and grabbed the bright purple (Jeff picked it out) diaper bag in the backseat. He locked his car once more and walked back into the house. He walked past Matt, who was still trying to glare a hole through his head and straight to Jeff's bedroom.

Mark knocked on the bedroom door and opened it when he heard a soft 'come in' from the other side. Jeff was sitting on his bed and Catilyn was in his arms making a pinched face of distress and wriggling around unpleasantly.

Mark waited for Jeff to acknowledge him, but it didn't appear like it was going to happen soon, Jeff was so absorbed with Catilyn. Mark set the diaper bag on the computer desk and took out a small jar of baby food and a plastic spoon. Mark sat down on the bed across from Jeff and handed him the baby food. Jeff gave him a smile before trying to maneuver Catilyn in a way so that he could feed her without putting her down, but he couldn't manage. Mark gently took Catilyn from Jeff and set her in his lap.

"I'll hold her."

Jeff smiled gratefully at him before unscrewing the jar of baby and dipping the spoon in. Jeff brought the spoon to Catilyn's lips and smiled as she swallowed it down. Jeff didn't stop feeding Catilyn as he started a conversation with Mark.

"How have you been Mark?" Jeff asked the question gently, as if unsure of his own voice.

Mark let out a sigh before answering "Not great. The kids miss you, Catilyn was screaming bloody murder when you were gone, she needed to see you."

Jeff deflated at Mark's description of his time without him "I miss the kids too, I don't want to give Catilyn back but my dad doesn't want me to see you anymore."

Mark swallowed and finally asked the question that had been on his mind for days.

"Jeff, do you really love me?"

Jeff's hand stilled in its journey from the jar to Catilyn's mouth before he relaxed and let out a sigh.

"Yeah, I do. Do you-do you love me?"

Jeff asked the question with such underlying hopefulness that it pained Mark to tell him the truth.

"No. I don't."

Jeff looked at him, completely embarrassed and turned his eyes towards the Pumpkin/Squash baby food.

"Oh."

Mark looked at Jeff and sighed, this is why he lied, it made everyone feel better. The truth only hurts. Mark looked down at a sleeping Catilyn as she slept against his chest and grabbed Jeff's hand.

"Look Jeff, I may not love you, but I care about you a lot. Cooper and Connor can't live without you and you're the mother of our child. I can't imagine life without you. My relationship with you is the closest I've ever gotten to being in love."

Jeff looked up at him, blushing prettily "Really? You weren't just in it to fuck me?"

Mark looked at Jeff in disbelief "What? No! Where the hell did you get that idea?"

Jeff shrugged off the question and took a deep breath "Maybe, I don't love you. How about I say I care about you very, very much. I really know what it's like to be in love, I could be mistaken."

Mark nodded and shifted Catilyn in a laying position in his arms "That could be true, you're pretty young and it's only been 3 months."

Jeff put the baby food on his bedside table and cuddled up to Mark's side, careful not to jostle Catilyn and wake her up. Jeff looked up at Mark and giggled quietly.

"I like you Mark."

Mark smiled and leaned down to kiss Jeff on the lips.

"I like you too, babe."


End file.
